Takda Anak Susah, Ada Pun Susah

Once we arrive at a certain age, our parents and relatives will ask that dreaded question:

"So, when are you going to settle down? You're not young anymore you know?"

Fine, then we happily got married (except yours truly), we are asked another dreaded question:

"Time to start a family, la. The older you get, the more difficult to conceive..."

OK, fine. We finally have children. As if that's not enough, there's more to come. This time, it's the complaints. My nephew is now 2-years-old, and his sleeping pattern is inconsistent. Often, when my mother invites my brother to this house for dinner, they'll be late because they don't want to disturb the sleeping child or else that boy would create a big fuss and show tantrums. And each time there's such an invitation, I'd hear this in the kitchen:

"Every time so late. Why can't they just get the kid into the car and come (sleeping or not)?" - mom's also afraid that the food would be cold by the time they arrive. I told her that it won't get cold so quickly. When mom makes noise, dad would do the same. So he actually said this:

"Next time, no need to invite them. Wait for the kid to be older."

It's annoying. It's the same old story each freaking week! Today, I just couldn't tolerate the same comments, so I had to open my mouth and say something to my parents:

"Look, you want a grandchild, now you've got it... it's up to them how they wanna bring up their kid. ... different kids are brought up in different ways" - it is true. No two children are brought up the same way. My siblings and I all have different characters, not only because of genetics, but it's environment, too. I may have no right to speak because I'm not a parent, yet I'm concerned about the unnecessary family tension.

I even added:

"When their daughter is born later, there could be more "problems"... you wait and see." - I certainly anticipate that if having one kid causes noise in THIS house, having another one would be worse. My sister-in-law is gonna give birth end of this year.

I feel sorry for my brother and my sister-in-law. Invited to dinner, but have to face the brunt of people who dislike late-comers, and want things their way. In a way, I'm a bad person blogging about this, but I still do it because I'm sad.

Sigh, I just don't know why this happens. And I wonder if it's the same in all families. I guess it's just the norm... "Nah, they just say things like that, but they don't mean it." - often, out of anger, we lash things out, not knowing that others are listening, and they won't know if what you have said was what you really meant.