The Right Person - my foot!

"Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship; it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till the very end." - Anonymous.

How many times have we heard people say:

• "I've found the right man."

• "I've not found the right person yet"

The irony is that, although they've finally found the "right" person, there's no guarantee that the relationship will work out just fine. How does one define "right"? Do we look at a person's physical attributes, their personality, or perhaps their wealth, educational level and social status? 

Personally, if you put too much criteria in looking for partner, then in due time, your relationship will go down the drain. Do you know why - because it's just a fallacy; we believe we've found the exact person that fits our criteria, and on that basis, we begin to supposedly care for them. Years (or months) down the road, you then realise that both of you don't seem to care that much anymore. You do things your way, they do things their way. You have tried hard to please your other half and to show that you cared, but you got nothing in return. Instead you took all the blame, you got shot down each time you made a mistake and you might even feel like you're a slave in your own home. You suddenly find yourself in a tight situation - being dominated by a domineering life partner, and feel like you've got yourself a monster. If you're in this situation, then it means you've got your math all wrong from the start.

The right person to be with is the person whom you can care FOR till the end of your life. It takes two to tango. You don't need an astrologer to tell you that. Two people might quarrel every other day but that doesn't necessary mean there's no care, or that you're both a mismatched couple. Arguments happen in the household when there are differences in opinions. Silence is not good. Having a dominating mate isn't an indication that no care would be given or expected either because no two humans are the same. Even twins are not really duplicates of each other. You might initially dislike a person, but over time, care can be displayed in discreet ways. The question is: Can you sustain the care that you give till the end of your lifespan if both of you intend to be together forever more? Can both hands eventually clap?