Horrified with Relationships

If you've been in just one relationship, and marry that person in the end, then you're really a lucky person. In reality, this doesn't happen to many of us who have had at least two relationships prior to getting hitched for good. Some never make it despite dating numerous times, and they become singles for life.

It's tough. Being in a relationship, to me, is somewhat like walking in the jungle without a guide. The scene is fresh, the sights are beautiful, the water is pristine and the air is clean. However, you don't know if you're going into the direction that leads you out into the open. Some will be trapped forever, thus will never be able to find their way out. What's worse is that along the way, you find a person who presumably is a guide, follows you, tells you where to go but just when you start having confidence that the guide is your ultimate saviour, there's a distraction from a pretty sight, the guide bids farewell and leaves you without a trace.

That is an analogy of a relationship. You find someone you truly love, do things together, share jokes and problems, but somewhere along the romantic path, this same person finds another partner and tells you to go away. Let's be more explicit. You allow your partner to go on a trip, assuring yourself that your partner is in good hands and that things will remain status quo. In fact, there is nothing to be concerned about as both of you have been in love for months. Alas, while on the plane, your partner gets attracted to one of the passengers. When your partner returns, you find a change. There is not much communication going on, lesser fun, far lesser bedroom activities and more arguments. It makes you wonder why you let this person take that trip in the first place. Imagine seeing a text message that reads: "Hi, we need to talk when I get home." - and it is sent on another flight with another person.

Ouch!! I'm hurt. Are you?



What Do Women Want, ah?

They want the 3Cs and the 5Cs - horrors!!! That's so cliche....

While it is true that there are some women who look for the "Cs", in general, I believe that most don't. There's no specific list as to what they actually want from you as each woman's want is different. As an individual, you have to make a study of the woman you are attracted to, and learn what makes them tick. Let me give you a list of what I believe women want from men. I call it the 3Cs and 3Rs:

My 3Cs

• Caring (not only when she's sick)
• Courageous (not only to protect them from criminals)
• Committed (not just a touch and go relationship)

My 3Rs

• Respectful (mutual, not one-sided)
• Real love (not love for lust or beauty)
• Responsible (not running away when things go wrong)

Notice that I didn't say anything about money and beauty because money can be earned if you know how, and beauty is only temporary.

So, good luck if you're looking for a woman now. :-)

What Kind of Relationship?

How long can a marriage last? Some of us have a delightfully happy marriage (you're blessed), some have a rocky one, while others have ended theirs. When a marriage fails, the blame falls on incompatibility. Maybe, but that's not always true and that's not the main reason. Personally, if you want your marriage to work, you need to have a really good relationship with your partner from Day 1. You need to work hard.

If you expect your spouse or partner to be there for you all the time, but you do not reciprocate, then your relationship with them will go downhill real quick. Men often believe that when they're into a relationship, all attention must go to them; well, if you have that kind of mentality, it's time to change because in a relationship, you'll need two hands to clap, and these hands have to continue clapping till the end of time. To be fair, it goes the same way with women too.

If you assume that life is so simple that you could just let your partner go any time you don't need them or when you're sick of them, then you're sadly wrong, too. It takes a long time to build a relationship. An everlasting relationship constitutes a continuous act of getting to know each other - it just doesn't stop when you're married - it goes on. Therefore, don't just let a fish go if you believe it is very precious to you just because there are tonnes of other fishes in the ocean that you could choose from. It is sometimes the ugly fish that could sometimes give you the best taste (but it depends on how you cook it, too).

Don't you ever believe that if you want to have a successful relationship, both need to have some common interests. Well, in my personal point of view, that's a biased statement. Two people can have many opposing opinions, likes and dislikes, and attitudes yet get along very well till all eternity. For instance, you could be a doctor, and your partner could be an administrative clerk. If you could just let go of your status-consciousness and egoism, and focus on building your communication and relationship instead, then sparks will fly. There are also sacrifices to be made - and both parties need to do that. If either one is egoistic and chauvinistic all the time, then the relationship will eventually crumble.

And yes, some people are just not meant to be with each other. I can't deny that. No matter how hard you both try, there's simply no chemistry. Then, the relationship has to be platonic.