Facebook is Great, or Is It?

Paul: Hi, I've not seen you in a long time. How have you been?
Pearl: I'm doing good, thanks. Been pretty busy with work actually.
Paul: Oh, really? I thought you've gone MIA.
Pearl: Nah, still here though it's not the best place to be. Look, I've got to run ok?
Paul: OK, sure. By the way, do you have a Facebook account? I'll add you in.
Pearl: That's great.

People, what has happened to the conservative way of exchanging business cards and telephone numbers? The former is purely for business interactions, no more for social relationships - except perhaps in Japan. Exchanging handphone numbers used to be the norm, but now we'd add in Facebook as well.

Just like the iPad fad, Facebooking has become too popular as well; it has become a social networking phenomenon the past few years. It's so easy to set up an account that even an 8-year-old (or younger) could create an account on his own, and I'm not exaggerating.

I've never delved much into Facebook until the past two years when I started connecting to friends, and I've been actively using it in recent months to communicate with my students and long-lost buddies (if they're still alive, that is). I've noticed that the Facebook administrators have been updating the site with more features which enable users to get connected even easier. However some new features actually expose unsuspecting users to newer threats. We are now concerned with not only privacy invasions and identity thefts, but also criminal acts like virtual stalking that could possibly lead to abduction. Yup, I'm talking about this craze of using a new feature known as "Check-in" where Facebook is able to track your location (because you allow it to do so) thus allowing you to keep in touch with your friends, and telling them where you are. It works like a GPS. The only benefit I see is that your daddy would at least know where you are, if you're still in possession with your phone by then.

Watch this video clip, and hope you'd make the right move. For me, I'd just stick to what Facebook is meant to be used as - a social networking tool, not a tool to announce my whereabouts every second of the day.

The Price of Technology

Technology helps; technology destroys. Which one would you prefer?

Go to any restaurant and look around you. The place is crowded, yet silent. You see families with kids, yet you don't hear sounds of children whining and crying from the tables around you. Yup, they have been sedated by a new tranquilizer called technology. You see them holding phones and tablet PCs in their hands as they wait for the food to be served. It's not uncommon to see everyone in the family staring at their own handheld devices sending messages, playing games or surfing the Net. What has happened to family interaction? It's quite dead, actually. Mommy doesn't talk to daddy; little boy/girl is in his own world immersed in his "Plants and Zombies" game.

You'll see the same scene at home. Daddy is watching television, mommy is blogging her latest travel adventure, their teenage son is engrossed in Facebooking, oblivious to what is happening in the house. They hardly ever go to the park as a family anymore, have a picnic, talk about anything under the sun. 

Ask any teen about what Merdeka is about, the contributions of former politicians to the nation, the world's population, names of capital cities, the causes of tsunami... chances are, they know nothing much, or nothing at all because all they ever do when given an assignment is copy wholesale and paste into Microsoft Word, ready to be submitted to their teacher a soon as they could. I recently gave my students a topic on how to overcome gangsterism in schools. Guess what?  Even with my assistance, it took them some time to think of the points and elaborations. That's what copying and pasting does to students. 

Sad, huh?

Whypad?

It's not very often that I get a long break. This time, because of Hari Raya and compulsory leave, I got the whole week off, and here I am at my sister's place in KL. The road is still clogged with cars though, if you drive out at peak hours.

The first thing I noticed when I got into my sister's house was the presence of a ubiquitous device - a machine that needs no introduction, a gadget that all 4-year-olds would beg for their next birthday. Yup, it's the iPad. I saw not only one, but three iPads. That's one each for my brother-in-law, one for my sister and one for my 8-year-old niece. They were using it not for work but for playing Smurf, Baking Dash and stuff like that, as well as making full use of its Wifi capability to surf the Internet. I'm not gonna ask if they had actually bought three, but I think I heard my bro-in-law saying that one belonged to his mother who lives just next door.

What's this thing with the iPad that has everyone, from tiny tots to adults, go a gaga? To find out, I got hold of my niece's iPad when she wasn't using it. Well, now I know why this expensive toy is a craze. It's not the price that matters, it's the technology that comes with it that everyone finds irresistible. A capacitive touch screen (just a light touch to activate the icons), crystal clear screen, zooming in and out by "pinching" the screen with your fingers and flipping page-by-page with your index finger. There are plenty of games (mostly paid ones) that could keep a kid silent for hours, giving adults lots of tranquility, and time to do their chores. Yeah, I must admit that I'm hooked to it, but not to the extent of being so highly addictive till I'd forget my meals.

Would I get one myself? As much as I'd like to, I won't. I've already spent a fortune on my credit card and utility bills as well as repaying the house and car loans to finance companies. At over RM1,500  I could have meals, groceries and household needs. With the same amount of money, I'd rather get a brand new LCD television so that I could enjoy some good movies at home, or just save the amount for a rainy day.

Indeed... the iPad is meant for those who could afford it. If you can't, then don't burn a big hole in your pocket just because your kid has been bugging you nuts day in and day out.

Kids, kids, kids.

A: Mom, what's that?
B: That's a tablet PC.
A: Is it an i-Pad?
B: ?? How did you know about i-Pad?
A: My friend has it. He got it for his birthday.
B: Oh ok.
A: Can I have that for my birthday too, mom?
B: No, you can't, A. It's not good for your eyes.
A: But my friend has it and his eyes are ok.
B: Maybe now his eyes are OK, but many years later, his eyesight will be bad.
A: Why mom?
B: That's because the screen gives out radiation, which is bad for the eyes.
A: People must wear glasses when their eyes are bad?
B: Yeah.
A: So, you're wearing glasses because you use i-Pad too?
B: No, mom and dad don't have i-Pads. We don't need one.
A: But i-Pad is so popular now, mom. Friends will laugh at me if I don't have one. Can you buy one, please? Please?
B: OK. You get first place in your final exam, and I'll get you one, ok?

Does this sound familiar to you? Children are not only getting more techno-savvy, they're also getting much more inquisitive and smarter. They know how to weave their way around their parents to get what they want. In order to handle SuperKids like this, parents need to be more cautious when dealing with their kids' demands. The days where we stare at them in anger are gone. They're no longer afraid of us. We can't spank them, we can't scold them. We need to exercise plenty of patience and understanding as to what makes them tick, and that is no easy task.

Kids are indeed getting more difficult to handle, but not impossible.

New Kids

Don't be duped by the title. I'm not having a kid - maybe never will. :-)
What do these have in common?

• iPad
• iPod
• iPhone
• Blackberry
• tablet PC
• android

Well,  these are words that come out of the mouths of kids as young as 5-years-old these days. They know what these gadgets are, they could pronounce them well enough even before they go to kindergarten. Of course, their parents help them, or else they wouldn't know, would they?

Modern kids are techno-savvy, and that's because of the exposure they get when the eat out with their parents. In school, they see their friends play with these gadgets, so they would coax their parents to get one for them. Just ask a kid what they want for Christmas or for their birthdays. Chances are, they'd ask for a digital camera, a handphone or some latest techno stuff in the market. Presents like pencil boxes, school bags, books, Lego and Megablocks have lost their popularity years ago. DUH.... what? Yes, you can say that again.

Is there a way to keep them away from technology till they're old enough to handle them? The answer is a melancholic "No" because parents have to say "Yes" to their kids' demands; they don't want their kids to be left far behind. "No" has suddenly been excluded from the vocabulary of a child born in the 21st century. These are the TechnoKids who have their own Facebook accounts at a young age, and who could teach their ageing parents how this website works. These are the kids who know what a blog is, and own their own blogs.

So what if my kid asks for an iPad, you may ask. Well, they could have all the latest gadgets money can buy, but they'll lose out on finer things in life - like socializing with REAL people in REAL neighbourhoods; learn to be better citizens, and not be too materialistic. To those who could afford to equip their kids with these ridiculously expensive devices which interest the little ones for just a brief moment before these machines are replaced with newer models, well and good. What about those who can't? I have no answer for that. Personally, I'd rather go for moderation, taking the middle path.

We live in a scary world. It is getting scarier by the day. Children are at least 5x smarter than their parents, and are five times as quick to learn new things. Hopefully, this change would create a better world, not destroy it.

The Right Person - my foot!

"Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship; it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till the very end." - Anonymous.

How many times have we heard people say:

• "I've found the right man."

• "I've not found the right person yet"

The irony is that, although they've finally found the "right" person, there's no guarantee that the relationship will work out just fine. How does one define "right"? Do we look at a person's physical attributes, their personality, or perhaps their wealth, educational level and social status? 

Personally, if you put too much criteria in looking for partner, then in due time, your relationship will go down the drain. Do you know why - because it's just a fallacy; we believe we've found the exact person that fits our criteria, and on that basis, we begin to supposedly care for them. Years (or months) down the road, you then realise that both of you don't seem to care that much anymore. You do things your way, they do things their way. You have tried hard to please your other half and to show that you cared, but you got nothing in return. Instead you took all the blame, you got shot down each time you made a mistake and you might even feel like you're a slave in your own home. You suddenly find yourself in a tight situation - being dominated by a domineering life partner, and feel like you've got yourself a monster. If you're in this situation, then it means you've got your math all wrong from the start.

The right person to be with is the person whom you can care FOR till the end of your life. It takes two to tango. You don't need an astrologer to tell you that. Two people might quarrel every other day but that doesn't necessary mean there's no care, or that you're both a mismatched couple. Arguments happen in the household when there are differences in opinions. Silence is not good. Having a dominating mate isn't an indication that no care would be given or expected either because no two humans are the same. Even twins are not really duplicates of each other. You might initially dislike a person, but over time, care can be displayed in discreet ways. The question is: Can you sustain the care that you give till the end of your lifespan if both of you intend to be together forever more? Can both hands eventually clap?

Charity Begins at Home

You see the piggy bank (picture below) and a stack of money beside it? I call it my Bamboo Bank. The money has been in the container for a few months already, and I've been waiting for the need to use that money. Well, I've just found that need. The contents of my Bamboo Bank will be given to the Japan Quake Relief Fund via World Vision (WV) which I'm a member. Too bad WV doesn't have a branch in little Malacca town, so I've to send a Money Order to its branch in Petaling Jaya instead.



My Bamboo Bank: A bit each day



The money in this container came from two sources. I placed the container on my desk, and I make it a point to put in either 20 sen or 50 sen each day I come to work. Yup, that's my own money. On top of that, 10% of the proceeds of my MUET tuition class goes into the Bamboo Bank too. So far I don't have any more students (sad), so there's nothing much to donate next time. The total amount that I'm sending to the relief fund is RM170.00 (approx. US$50), and that's enough to feed a small family simple meals for a few days.

Notice that the Bamboo Bank that you saw in the picture is specially made. It's made of recyclable material (cardboard and aluminum). This will be my permanent donation box. I got it from Tzu Chi when I attended training there last year. Well, I'm a very passive member... bad boy.

Teach your children to be charitable, but first you need to be charitable, too in order to be a good role model. If those in the lower economic status group could afford to put in small amounts into their own piggy banks each day, I don't see why those in the middle and upper classes can't do so. The Malay has this proverb: "Sedikit, sedikit, lama-lama jadi bukit." (Literally translated: Little by little, eventually it becomes a hill.)" - I'm sure you've heard of that. 

Note: Check out this article, written in 2006/07, before you leave my blog. It really makes you wonder...