Horrified with Relationships

If you've been in just one relationship, and marry that person in the end, then you're really a lucky person. In reality, this doesn't happen to many of us who have had at least two relationships prior to getting hitched for good. Some never make it despite dating numerous times, and they become singles for life.

It's tough. Being in a relationship, to me, is somewhat like walking in the jungle without a guide. The scene is fresh, the sights are beautiful, the water is pristine and the air is clean. However, you don't know if you're going into the direction that leads you out into the open. Some will be trapped forever, thus will never be able to find their way out. What's worse is that along the way, you find a person who presumably is a guide, follows you, tells you where to go but just when you start having confidence that the guide is your ultimate saviour, there's a distraction from a pretty sight, the guide bids farewell and leaves you without a trace.

That is an analogy of a relationship. You find someone you truly love, do things together, share jokes and problems, but somewhere along the romantic path, this same person finds another partner and tells you to go away. Let's be more explicit. You allow your partner to go on a trip, assuring yourself that your partner is in good hands and that things will remain status quo. In fact, there is nothing to be concerned about as both of you have been in love for months. Alas, while on the plane, your partner gets attracted to one of the passengers. When your partner returns, you find a change. There is not much communication going on, lesser fun, far lesser bedroom activities and more arguments. It makes you wonder why you let this person take that trip in the first place. Imagine seeing a text message that reads: "Hi, we need to talk when I get home." - and it is sent on another flight with another person.

Ouch!! I'm hurt. Are you?



Back in Facebook

I was down in the dumps for over 24 hours two days ago, and within that period, I deactivated my Facebook account as I was so frustrated about everything, and I didn't want to share my problems with others because they could be judgemental or they could just scoff at the comments that I make.

Somehow, I also realise that when there is no place to vent that same emotional "outburst", and when there's no one around whom you could talk to, I had to reactivate the account, and I'm grateful that Facebook doesn't permanently delete users' accounts without the latter's written authorization.

In Freddy Krueger's words: "I'm baaaack!"

Time to Go Home

The past four decades have taught me just too many things from the good and bad experiences that I've had. The good experiences will be kept close to me even when I'm gone. Unfortunately, the bad experiences keep recurring, I'm unable to uphold morality, thus bringing shame to everyone who are close to me or causing stress to my loved ones - family, friends and relatives.

I would like to thank everyone, especially this particular person, for being there when I was in deep trouble. Thanks, for lending an ear without fail the past 12 months or so, and for lifting my mood when I was down. However, I've disappointed you repeatedly as a friend and I beg for forgiveness,

Thanks to all those who have read / been reading my posts without fail. It is you who have encouraged me to keep blogging till today... but now it's time to leave. Leave everything.

God bless everyone.

Just Some Garbage Stuff

I've not blogged in a long time out of sheer laziness, and plain numbness of my mental faculty. Those who follow my posts regularly will find that most of my posts have melancholic and solemn tones. Today's post is no different because I've nothing exciting to share but lots of emptiness to pour.

Everywhere I go, I observe people - the elderly smiling and spending their remaining years with friends. I see teens half-embracing and attempting to smooch in a secluded corner of a shopping mall but couldn't out of shyness. I see married couples arguing then reconciling. I see people spending like nobody's business each time there's a big sale and going home gleefully with armfuls of shopping goodies.

Don't they have anything to worry about? I guess they do, but they just discard them temporarily, or perhaps they're reached Nirvana or enlightenment, so nothing at all bothers them.

I don't know what I'm talking about here, but I do know that I'd like to go to sleep now without having to worry about what is gonna happen tomorrow (and the next), and without stressing people out.

Research: To Do or Not to Do

Doctors do research to look for cures for illnesses. Engineers do research to see if they could come up with safer designs for buildings. Teachers also need to do research to look for ways to enhance learning. But what about something more specific like language teachers? What are they researching for?

Over the past years, local universities are so crazy about doing researches, not realising that in the social science field, it is tough to come up with research that is niche. Social science people are unlike those in the pure science and engineering field where there are too many things to discover and too many new inventions that could be made. Why do universities keep pushing their staff to do research when sometimes there's hardly anything to research on? Why can't these academicians do what they do best - impart knowledge, which should be paramount, rather than unwillingly dwell into research? Yes, research does contribute to acquisition of new knowledge, but can everyone do research? And if an academic staff doesn't do research, does that mean they're inadequate, inefficient and less knowledgeable, therefore do not deserve good annual appraisals or salary increments?

I'm not against doing research, but making research compulsory for all staff in order to fulfill a university's Key Performance Indicators (KPI), is not a good way to encourage research, for the focus will be on meeting the KPI rather than the purpose, outcome and value of the research to the institution, community or nation. Could the research culture be forced into unwilling researchers this way? I've done a research when I did my masters' (still at it), and I can tell you that it is not easy, and not everyone is cut out to be a researcher. I find it tough to analyze results and to synthesize articles that I read for my research, and that's why it is taking me so long to complete my thesis, if I ever complete it.

Anyone who aspires to be a researcher - even an amateur one - firstly needs to love reading, and have interest in an area of research. Then he also needs to have an analytical mind or else it would be very difficult to synthesize articles, use the correct instruments, report findings and make recommendations. Forcing anyone to do a research would possibly lead to plagiarism, and result in half-baked efforts.

So, what would you want to research on? How would you go about it?

Slow Drivers

How fast can you drive? 80km/h? 160km/h? Does speed matter? To a certain extent, speed does matter if you're in a hurry to reach your destination. On a freeway, you could drive 160km/h or more though the speed limit is a mere 110 km/h in our country. You'll still arrive in one piece provided your car tires and engine are in top condition, and your driving skills is 9 out of 10.

However, not everyone is able to handle that kind of adrenaline rush. This does not make them a sissy. I believe there are many tortoises out there who are careful drivers, and they're slow because they want to be safe, and they want their passengers and other drivers on the road to be safe too. On the other hand, driving at a snail's pace on a freeway is a bit too much because freeways are not built for extremely slow drivers.

People drive super fast because they like the thrill of having the adrenaline pumping through their heads and feeling good when they arrive at their destination. Others don't want the thrill, but the enjoyment of cruising along at a constant speed. If you're in a hurry, well... drive a little faster but just be sure that you're careful.

If a driver drives slow and you push them to go faster, chances are, you might not arrive your destination in one piece. Slow or fast, drive safely - that's what matters most.

A Reason for Everything

There is an explanation for everything. Or is there? As far as I'm concerned, things happen for a reason, and we do not need to know the reason for it to happen because we won't until you see the outcome. Then all of a sudden, it strikes you: "Oh, now I see why it happens."

Scenario 1:

You've been working in Company A for a long time as a junior executive. One fine day, you were told of a Voluntary Separation Scheme (VSS) and before you know it, you're out of job. You're severely depressed and wonder why must it be you. You look high and low, and finally secure a new job. While in this new firm, you not only got promoted quickly to a manager but also got yourself a life partner.

Scenario 2:

You're in a relationship with a great man, and you believe things will work out well. Then he meets a new colleague, goes out with her a couple of times. Before long, he tells you that he's moving out of your life as he's found the one he truly loves. You wonder, you've loved him so dearly and cared immensely for him, why is he betraying you? To get away from it all, you run to another State so that your mind does not think too much of the excruciating pain of being dumped. You get support from your new colleagues there and you finally find true love.

Scenario 3:

You're on the verge of filing for mutual divorce. One day, he calls you and informs that his mother is very ill and asks you for help. You agree but you were adamant that will not change your mind about the divorce as you'd been so tired of his attitude. On the day you visit his mom, he is there by her bedside. You chat with him and his mom. Then his mom asks you to forgive him and give him another chance to change. You give it a thought. You feel sorry for being so silly. You reminisce the good times you had with him, and you don't want your child to suffer as a result of the divorce. In the end, you shred the papers and return to his arms. Can you explain that?

Things like this happen again and again and again... someone will be hurt; someone will be happy.