What to Do?

Last night, I prayed for a sunny morning as I wanted to cut the grass. It had been raining; the weather has been unpredictable in recent months. This morning, the sky appeared gloomy but God answered my prayers, the sun shone brightly by 8:00 AM as I was having breakfast at the mamak stall eating my favourite roti canai and drinking fresh cow's milk.

I didn't waste my time getting the grass cutter. As I was cutting the grass, I saw my neighbour. We exchanged greetings.

"Good morning, holiday ah?", the neighbour asked.

"No, I'm on leave - yesterday and today."

"Your wife working?", he said with a smile. He and my ex-wife are colleagues but in different faculties.

I sheepishly replied, "We're separated already."

My neighbour was stumped. "What do you mean separated?"

"We're divorced." Short and straight to the point.

"Ah?? What happened??" he exclaimed. Can't blame his ignorance as he's seldom at home till lately.

I shrugged my shoulders. What more could I answer?

"But... her parents came the other day right?" - he was still in a state of disbelief.

"If recently, those were my parents. If it's long ago, probably hers."

"So now you stay alone?" he asked. Yes, I don't have another woman in my life.

He shook his head. "So sorry..." - and there was a pause. "Sad la," he countinued as he looked at me. "Nowadays, things are different..."

I looked at him. "Yeah..." that's all I could utter. Then he continued with his work. As he turned around, I heard him repeat to himself, "Sad la".

I continued cutting my grass thinking of our conversation.  Each time someone asks me "What happened?" I just could not respond as I'm partially to be blamed too. As the blade of the machine rotated, I kept asking myself why on earth this is happening to me.

After the divorce, I live alone - except on weekends - while my ex-wife lives with her parents every single day about 300 meters away. Other neighbours could testify that I don't bring women home. Strangers have eyes to see that each time I go out, I'm alone unless a colleague wants to have lunch or dinner with me, which very rarely happens. Go ask any pub owner and see if they've ever seen me before. I'm made to look like the state's No.1 criminal... well, maybe I'm a criminal in the making - damn me.

I'm trying to be happy but each time someone asks that question, I'll reminisce and feel sad. I've lost a wife,  I only have me. Each day I pray that I've enough strength to live on, and live with the fact that there will still be questions like "What happened" and "Do you still keep in touch with her?" till it's time to leave this world; it doesn't matter if I remarry or not.

I finished cutting the grass in an hour or so.

"Hello!" the neighbour called again.

He handed me some mangoes. He plants a mango tree in his garden.  He is an Indian, and to the Hindus, mango leaves are hung above the door frame for blessings. I guess he felt sad for me but grateful that he has a family. Perhaps this kind gift also symbolises blessings that Mr. Siva, my neighbour, is passing on to me.

Thanks, Mr Siva. I need all the blessings I can get... and may God bless you and your family too.

Transformers 3 in Production!

I love three types of movies - science fiction (sci-fi), comedy and animated. One of my favourite movies is Transformers. I've watched both series, and you know what? Transformers 3 is now in production, and is expected to be released in July 2011 (seriously), and in 3D. There are lots of fake trailers out there, but they're all very creative. I wonder why Michael Bay doesn't sue YouTube? Well, it's alright - it's for everyone's entertainment I guess :)

Here's a sneak preview of some of the vehicles taken by a bystander who had been waiting for the cars to appear.

This is REAL footage (taken by a bystander)

This is the FAKE but creative trailer




The official trailer is not out yet.

New vehicles, new transformation, new enemies - and hopefully more exciting than the previous ones. In terms of storyline, well ... I wouldn't expect anything to change. It would just be good against evil, and rescueing a skimpily clothed damsel in distress.

Bye-bye Students

Do you remember the time when you had a class party at the end of the year to celebrate the completion of you studies, and to move on to the next level? Well, I completed my school years long, long ago. However, today is my last day TEACHING my present students in this campus. After 13 weeks of sweat and challenges, I can finally raise my hand in jubilation that I've taught them in the best way I could.

I thanked my students for being good, and I apologised to them if I've said or done anything wrong. Well, they truly appreciated my gesture. In fact, they were sad to see me leave. I told them I'm not coming back, which is true, because I have been on loan for this semester. I shall be based in Malacca again next semester onward.

"Teacher, am I good?" one student asked.

"No, you're sometimes naughty, sometimes bad." -  I said with a little smile. My international students didn't know what "naughty" meant - poor kids. I must've been a bad teacher.

"Teacher, I like you." - this kid said .. and he has always been the noisiest one in class. Well, that's sweet, thanks. We're talking about 18-19 year old kids who have come from another country to study here. The other group of students are mostly adults from age 19-40 years old, many doing their postgraduate studies.

Surprisingly, I've remained rather calm throughout the 13 weeks despite the teenage students' antics and mischief. With the exception of one or two loud outbursts, things went very well.

Am I gonna miss them? Sigh... yeah I will, but I'm not coming back here. It's just too tiring.

Early Festive Invitation

It is now Ramadhan - the fasting month, and Muslims will celebrate Hari Raya Aidil Fitri at the end of the month. With just over a week away, the mood has already started. Festive songs are played in the administrative office, and paraphernalias linked to this festival have started to appear in towns.

This morning, a cleaner came into my office. She normally comes with another cleaner, and she has always been the quiet and sultry one. However, this morning was different.  She came in first, and as she was sweeping the floor, she said with a cheer: "Raya bawak rumah eh, cikgu? (Come to my house on Hari Raya, teacher)" - I asked her where she lives and so on.  

It was a pleasant surprise to receive this invitation. I doubt I'll go to the cleaner's house as I'm generally a shy person and I would totally stay away from strangers. Nevertheless, her invitation was meaningful to me. Malaysians are generally very hospitable.

I guess ... there's no place like home - with warts and all.

Get a Camera lah

I have an aunt who loves to travel, but then all her travels are not documented, so only she knows what she has seen and experienced. She's now on a 12-day cruise to Scandinavia, and I bet when she returns she'd just brag that it's a beautiful place, the weather is great, the cruise liner is very huge and so on. Where's the evidence? None. She doesn't have a camera, depending on others to capture good moments on her behalf.

Nowadays, taking photos is so easy. It has never been easier than just point and click, and you don't even need to figure out what film to buy. It's too bad that some people believe that taking photos is just a waste of resources. "Nah, I don't know how to take photos" or "I don't like taking photos."

Somehow, people fail to see the value of taking personal snapshots of events and experiences to be shared with friends, members of family and future generations. I had a small debate with mom last night; I told her that it is important to record evidences of the past for posterity. Without photos, our children and grandchildren and later generations don't have a clue what we went through. Without photos, my brother wouldn't know what his grandfather looked like, and my niece and nephew don't know what their great-grandparents looked like.

My late grandparents' wedding photo taken
circa mid-1930s

The photo above was recaptured using my DSLR, and edited for clarity. At least now, my family (and bloggers) know what traditional Straits-born (peranakan) wedding looks like 70 years ago. My late grandfather wore modern wedding attire rather than the traditional one - nobody knows why.

Therefore, go get yourself a camera, shoot memorable moments. Share those photos with your loved ones. Don't be selfish and keep those memories to yourself. And don't make excuses that taking photo is so difficult, or toting a small camera is very inconvenient. :-) 

p/s: This is not a paid post, in case you're wondering.

One Good Deed

This morning, I went to the post office to pay my utility bills. As I opened the glass door, I noticed from the corner of my eye, a woman sitting on a chair against the wall. She was looking at the queue. There were three others in front of me. The young girl in front had finished her transaction, and I thought that lady was her mother. No she wasn't.

When it was the next customer's turn, I looked at the lady again. In her hand, there were some RM50 notes and bills. I realised that she had been waiting for her turn. I have no idea how long she had been sitting there. She had a jacket over her; so either she was feeling very cold or she was not well. Or perhaps she was waiting for the counter to be clear before paying her bills.

Being a shy person, I initially didn't want to open my mouth to ask. Eventually, I gathered enough courage to ask the stranger: "Mau bayar bill, ka? (You want to pay your bills?)" to which she smiled broadly and nodded. I immediately told her to go ahead and pay first. I waited behind her. She paid, and left. I saw a bunch of keys in her hand. Perhaps she was in a hurry to go somewhere.

Well, I'm glad that I've done a good deed. It may be small, but I suppose it's meaningful to that woman, or else she'd probably have to wait till I've done my payment.

Just Listen

My students had their presentations today. One of them didn't turn up, and as a result, his partner had to present alone. He didn't know what had happened to his best friend, though he knew that his friend had a problem.

Then at lunch, another student stopped me at the cafe and informed me that the absent student would like to do his presentation. Of course, I was annoyed. He was absent for the presentation, left his best friend alone, and yet he wanted to present later. Anyway, I told the messenger to ask that student to see me at 1:00 PM because I'd like to hear from him the reason for his absence, but there's no guarantee that I'd allow him to present.

Just before 1:00 PM, the boy came into my office and he had beads of sweat on his neck. His first words were "I'm sorry... I hope you'll let me explain... not sure if you'll accept or not." - I had no reason to be mad so I listened tentatively to his excuse. Apparently, he had a major argument with his dad the previous night over the phone. It had something to do with his studies here, and the fees. He wanted to be independent, but his father appears to control him. I reminded him that he should have at least informed his best friend, but he said he didn't want him to know. Then, I allowed him to present...

After presenting, he apologised again and continued his story. I continued listening to him ... he didn't have a good childhood, he wanted to be on his own as he didn't like to be controlled, he likes to visit other countries and help if he could, he wanted to study here. He talked about his country which oppresses its people, and he didn't like that. ... he wanted to be successful - on his own because he said: "What if there's no one there for me (one day)?"

I offered a bit of advise. I didn't want to talk too much as I'm not qualified enough to advise. Often, if we have nothing better to say, it's wiser to just listen. It means a lot to the other party - just a smile or a nod would sometimes suffice. And I remember him saying "I need someone to talk to... " - well, I hope he'll sort things out eventually but no matter what, he still has to come for a test in two days' time.