Thursday, December 16, 2010

I Love You is Hard to Say

I was reading a fellow blogger's post recently, and I've this big question in my thick head. Is it so hard for us to say "I love you"? Oh no..., we can say it effortlessly to our girlfriend and boyfriend, but we can't seem to force it out of our mouths and say the same to our parents (or even to our spouses). In the same light, our parents don't know how to verbalize the THREE words.

My conclusion is simple: Most Asian families are not accustomed to being expressive in terms of showing their love to their offspring, but they certainly are expressive in an argument. It is still so damn bloody hard for me to say the word "LOVE" to my mom and dad as I feel so bloody awkward, but deep in my heart I know I love my parents though I do not explicitly show it to them by verbalizing it.

On the day my ex-wife's parents announced the divorce to my parents (we were both present), my dad gave me an earfull when the other party left, but he was kinda sympathetic. I felt so bloody guilty, I stood there and said to him: "Can I give you a hug?" My dad was speechless, he nodded his head, and I hugged BOTH my parents. Of course when that happened, my ex-wife and her parents were long gone. I have never given any of them a hug in my four decades of existence, and it took something so drastic to happen for me to do it. Yet, I still don't feel "nice" if I were to go home each day and hug them, so I don't do it. I want to, but I can't. Try as much as I can, I still can't.

Is it a sin? To me, it is not. Sometimes, what matters is not your action, but the content of your mind at the point of action. Do you really mean it?

I'm not putting the blame on anyone here, but if one day - if that day ever comes - I remarry and have a kid, I pray hard that I'll be a better parent, educate my child so that he/she not only loves, but know how to say "I love you" and mean it from the bottom of the heart.


2 comments:

Unknown said...

Bro, thanks for sharing, i think it is a matter of looking into oneself deep and hard, frankly speaking most of us want to love and want to be loved, but then again some choose to show it in action, some in action and words, some just keep quiet.

but seriously i think everyone of us needs to learn to say it out,like when i pray,i believe even God knows that content of my heart but if i say Lord I love you, i feel good and i think He feels as good,right?

Lovable Hermit said...

I think if the feeling of love is so much intense and overwhelming it will automatically flow out from the mouth - "I love you so and so"