Partners of Different Religions

I had a virtual chat with a netpal a couple of days ago. Then the issue of having partners of different religions was brought up. "I'm a Christian, so I must marry another Christian." - strange, you know. And when I asked the reason, she said that she wanted someone who shares the same values. Before you have any thoughts in your mind, let me clear it for you - we're NOT dating... hehehe. We were merely discussing.

We have the right to choose our own partners, and we have the right to embrace the religion of our choice. Fine, thank you. What if you've found a great person, but you refuse to make that move due to religious differences? In addition, what if that person decides not to convert to your religion? Easy answer: "Let that person go, la. After all there are many fish in the sea. If not, then being single is also not bad anyway."

As far as I'm concerned, I wouldn't mind marrying anyone from any race as long as I get to keep my religion, and I will let her keep hers. The other thing is that I do not have to change my name or add something to it because my present name was given to me by my parents. People tend to believe that by marrying someone of the same religion, things will go smoothly as they will understand each other better. True, to a certain extent. However, marrying someone of a different religion has its benefits too. You get to learn and understand another religion, not only your own. You will also learn to tolerate other religions better. Isn't this what being a multi-racial country is all about, too? A good example is my parents - my mom is a Christian, dad a Buddhist. My brother chose to be a Christian, while I chose to be a Buddhist because we siblings have our own beliefs. Well, nothing's perfect. There have been some minor differences but nothing keeps my parents' love for each other going for close to 50 years despite that difference in faith.

If we respect each other's religion, that would be great, wouldn't it? The problem with us is that we think, or have been indoctrinated by people that our religion is better than others; some people make a mockery of other religions. This is when trouble ignites, and later turns into a full blown explosion.

I think we should all be open about having an open-religion marriage. There's no superior religion in this world because God has never taught us to think that way and all Man are equal in His eyes. The bottom line is, we all do good, be good and see good always, and life will be alright - regardless of whom you marry.

What Birthday?

"Oh, birthdays are very important to me."
"My husband/boyfriend must remember my birthday."
"You must be kidding if you think birthdays are not important."
"It's the man's job to remember his woman's birthday."

Hmm... so what do you think? This post focuses only on two people - the husband and the wife. What do you think of husbands who believe that it's not important to celebrate their spouse's birthday? You may be screaming at me: "Horrors! What nonsense are you talking about?" - let me just say this.

In a marriage, celebrating birthdays is just one of the ingredients to make your marriage taste sweeter. It is not the primary ingredient. Without it, your marriage would still be sweet. There is no point pouting, showing tantrums or arguing when your hubs doesn't remember, or take no notice of your date of birth. It doesn't mean you are insignificant. What matters most - and is paramount - is that your husband is able to provide you security, has long term plans and you're assured that he'll be there for you 24/7/365. What matters most is the fact that he cares for you in his own unique way, and that he is around just for you.

I remembered my ex-wife's birthday each year; every year I gave something to her and I gave her a treat. However, last year, her parents stepped in and wanted to have things their way - I didn't like it, and the issue of the birthday cake cropped up. It became one of the trivial issues that was brought up when she asked for a divorce. I would like to say this: as far as I'm concerned, I'd like to celebrate birthdays (mom's, dad's etc.), but if I don't get you a cake, or if the date just slips my mind for some god-forsaken reason, don't make me look like a criminal who has just murdered someone. Not every husband is into this birthday celebration thingy - and it doesn't mean they love you less.

"He loves me, so he must know my birthday." - not necessarily true. This is one of those unworthy expectations that could cause arguments. Don't expect, and you'll not feel disappointed. Your husband has his own ways of showing his love to you, and celebrating your birthday may not be on his list.

So, people... no birthday bash? It's alright. Don't frown. Be happy that you still have a husband (or a wife, to be fair) who is there by your side to care for your every need - you don't need a birthday cake to remind you of his (or her) love, do you?

Take this Quiz

Question:

What would you do if you see a stationary car with its lights on?

A. Tell the security officer about it.
B. Ignore it because it's not my car.
C. The owner is my enemy, so forget it.
D. Call the owner immediately to inform him/her.
E. None of the above - the car's mine.

There will be an answer for each of us. I'm writing this post because early this morning, I received an SMS that reads: "the lamp inside your car is on". It was from a colleague who travels with us to Cyberjaya each week, and she knows what car I drive. This is not the first time a colleague saved my ass. The first time, I parked at a reserved spot, and a different colleague called me up to inform that the security was calling out my registration plate over the walkie-talkie. This is a good example of me trying to be funny and not making people laugh. OK, follow the rules from now on.

The point is, it is good that your colleagues know what car you drive. It doesn't matter if it's a Beamer or a Kancil. Chances are, as long as they recognise your car, you'll quickly know if something has happened to it... if they see it, of course. There are still good people on this planet.

(p/s: You don't drive? Well... thank your lucky stars that you've a chauffeur who takes care of your travelling needs.)

Harith and Jezamine

Does age difference matter in a marriage? Well, from what I read in the papers yesterday, it certainly isn't. There was a column to announce that local comedian Harith Iskandar and model-actress Jezamine Lim are getting married. They'd already be married by the time you read this.

Harith is 44, while Jezamine is 27. That's an age gap of 17 years. It kinda reminds us of Siti Nurhaliza when she married businessman Datuk "K". What I find unique about Harith's love is that he first met Jezamine in Facebook! Did I read the papers carefully? I think so. Yes, it's the same social networking site that all of us are familiar with. So who says you cannot find love on the Internet, or online love doesn't work? Although it is quite a norm nowadays to find love online, not many are reported or known...well, there's no reason for us to know anyway.

My mom commented that Lim is a doctor, and Harith, a comedian - how could both match? I suppose laughter is the best medicine, if you know what I mean. So that matches well. I would also like to add that it all boils down to luck and fate as well. If Harith did not have a Facebook account, he might not have met his attractive bride and end his bachelorhood.

Luck and fate ... and prayer play crucial roles in our lives. True, age doesn't matter. Men can still perform at 40, 50 or even 60 ... you know what I mean; so can women. The only difference is, the older we get, the lesser chance we have of bearing a child.

A photo of the "akad nikah" (solemnisation) of the marriage is available here. Best wishes to the new couple.

Health at My Age

For breakfast today, I ate bread with home made fish floss. Since I'm still a grown-up kid, I get hungry quickly; therefore just an hour later, I went to the cafe to get some "kuih" - again, I didn't take photos of them before eating...

Anyway, then I realised (after buying) that all the three kuih that I bought were sweet ones. Well, I'm not a health freak, but I don't want to fall ill either especially when I'm alone at home. Too much sugar causes diabetes, and diabetes - depending on whether it's Type 1 or Type 2 - can cause death. My maternal grandma has diabetes, so I probably have her genes too. So, like it or not, since I've already bought the kuih, I ate them all. I'm gonna stay away from such "kuih" for the rest of this week at least.

A friend of mine just found out that he has high blood pressure, and he was so depressed that he sent an email to his friends to show how sad he was. We met up with him and cheered him up - hopefully... but knowing him, he will not change his habit. When you reach a certain age, food is a very important factor to look into in order to live healthily.

Reduce sweet stuff (diabetes), reduce meat intake (blood pressure), reduce fatty food (cholesterol).

At the Clubhouse

Today, a weekend, I met up with a few of my ex-schoolmates who are now doing rather well. Two whom I've not met for at least 20 years. We met at the Malacca Club, a place where yuppies hang out with friends to while away their time after a hard day's work. I said yuppies because it's an exclusive club which membership is possible only via introduction by an existing member. I dare not ask the membership fee, but I know it's high.

It was my first time in there since my friend is one of the major shareholders of this renown club. There were slot machines and private rooms to play one arm bandits, too. We got a room, and chatted in there, occasionally interrupted by the music from the sole slot machine in that room. We drank Shandy and beer (I didn't drink beer - not because I'm a holy person) while one drank coffee.

Generally, we had quite a good time chatting. Sorry, I didn't take any photos and I'm not what people call "camwhoring" :-) I spent about an hour in the clubhouse while the rest continued since their wives didn't bother about them, their kids are all grown, and they're really free to do whatever they want.

The First Assignment

Today is my first assignment to the Cyberjaya campus. I've been to this campus before for meetings but I've never taught there. This time around, six of us were the "Chosen Ones" to be there for 15 weeks.

The place

It is a very big campus, though not as big as public universities here. That's more than enough to give your legs and your heart a good exercise since we're required to teach 4 hours with only an hour break in between per day. Classes begin at 11:00 AM and ends at 4:00 PM for us.

The Students

I had only 8 students today. Being Week 1, many have yet to turn up, so classes are almost empty. The ones I had today were generally alright. At least they could converse quite well. I hope the rest who are coming later will be more or less just as good.

The journey

We began at 8:15 AM; we boarded the university coaster. It was helluva ride to hell most of the time. It was raining real hard midway, then there was no rain later. The driver drove at a neck-breaking 140 km per hour. I've been through this before, so I know the speed. I was seated at the back, and along some stretches of the highway, I felt like I was riding a horse! No kidding... my precious balls between my legs were slammed to the seat many times. It wouldn't be long before I lose both, or  grow another two somewhere. All the 10 of us (there were 4 additional passengers from other depts.) held on tight to our seats. We arrived safely at 9:50 AM. The trip home was just the same. This won't be the only "adventure ride" for us. We have to go through this twice a week for 14 weeks - you do the math. Our backs would hurt like mad.

Gosh, I ain't looking forward to Thursday. Pray that we all reach our destination in one piece.