Happy Moms

I have been surfing the net and checking out a couple of blogs created by mothers. We call these moms "Mommy Bloggers" in the virtual world. These are the hardworking moms who take time off from work  and after work to blog about anything. Most of them write about their life as a mother, and they have pictures of the cute newborns to 7-year-olds doing various stuff, and posing for the camera.

When I see these pictures, I could sense the mothers' happiness seeing their toddlers grow each day, while  sharing with other mommy bloggers their ups and downs as caretakers, not to mention offering tips to enhance their children's well-being. I suppose all the burden of bearing a child for nine months (or less for premature ones) is worth it after all. The excruciating pain of being in labour and giving birth to a child is temporary compared to the excitement, joy and everlasting love that these mothers have for their babies, toddlers and kids.

I see these kids in their blogs, I smile... and I'm envious of these parents because they have the opportunity to bring up their own flesh and blood. It is never easy to raise a child as the commitment and patience must be there at all times. My wish...

My wish is to have my own child one day so that I can share the joy, feel the excitement, learn to be responsible like every other parent. It's so nice to be able to cuddle your little one when you get back from work, or hearing them call you "Daddy" for the first time, or greeting you "Daddy come back already!"  and running to you for a hug, or hearing them say "I love daddy and mommy". Of course, when they become teenagers, things could be different, but that's another story. This wish of mine may just  likely be an unfulfilled one. Age is catching up... FAST ... and I also need a wife. No, I'm not desperate; it would be good if I could get married.

God willing. Maybe God knows I could only be a single, so I leave it in His hands. :-)

A Hope

My 43rd birthday has just passed. Yeah, it's "shocking" I'm THAT old already, but age is just a number because I still feel like a teenager and have desires of one. I have never made any resolutions as I know I can't keep them; I'm as fickle-minded as a nerdy professor. Nevertheless, I would like to have hope.

My Top 10 Golden Hopes

I hope that:

1. This country continues to enjoy peace and harmony
2. This world becomes a better place to live in
3. My parents age gracefully and happily, and be in good health
4. I will be a far better and matured person than I am now
5. The pain that I've experienced would disappear for good
6. My siblings enjoy fruitful and fulfilling lives with their own families
7. I will be successful in my career and love life
8. My best friend becomes a successful entrepreneur
9. Every one I know forgives me for the bad deeds I've done to them
10. God forgives me because I've committed just too many sins

Those are my hopes. I believe you have your own too.

For a Birthday Boy

Today's 11 Aug. 2010 - it's a date not to be repeated. The reason is it's my birthday and it's a public holiday in Malacca; today's the beginning of Ramadan, the fasting month for Muslims. How many people are privileged enough to have their birthdays fall on a public holiday? Well... it's a special day for me, or is it? It's even more special because for the first time ever, my parents and my aunt stayed overnight at my place just for my birthday.

Pre-birthday dinner

I'm kinda traditional when it comes to celebrating birthdays. I'd like it to be celebrated (if there is one) on the day itself, but this year it's celebrated a day before (which was not a holiday) to cater to those who are unable to attend the dinner - it's always dinners for us. It's fine with me.

Well, I'm not too excited about the celebration. To me, as long as you remember my birthday, I'm happy enough. No need parties, birthday cakes or gifts. A personal call would be really appreciated. See how simple I am? It's just gonna be another ordinary day anyway, at least for me. I donno about you guys who'd go partying the whole night long, and extend through the next day. OK, food time. Here's what we all ordered at this renown Thai restaurant:

That's edible raw leaf with rubber bands...
err.. I mean carrots below each one

Every one's favourite: Pineapple fried rice

Crispy rice dipped in spicy sauce with meat

Spicy fried rice

Stir fried traditional noodles: BEFORE

AFTER: Notice the glass containers with chilli powder, sugar,
pickled green chilli, sugar and ground nuts. Mix them all
into the noodles

The German Black Forest cake: Simply delicious

The bill - minus the cake - came  up to about RM140 (approx. US$40), which is rather inexpensive for seven people. Dad foot the bill. Thanks a million dad.

The Gifts

My brother and his wife presented to me a gift which I opened only this morning. I didn't wanna open it yesterday as it was not my birthday yet. I felt the gift, and I immediately knew what it was.

Well, I guess this is better than studying for a Master's degree
- which I've miserably failed

Both of them are pious Christians, and they've seen me in church, so it's only appropriate that they bought a religious book to help me learn more about the Bible. Thanks, I'll read it for sure. I've got cash gifts from my parents, my aunt and my brother's mother-in-law who was at the pre-dinner celebration too.

The Greetings

Let's see who did not wish me a happy birthday. Hmm... well, no need to be too bothered about it. I won't be offended though I wouldn't feel "nice" about it. It won't make me lose sleep anyway. Thanks to those who wished me. My best friend Yen sent me a card, but well... since our postmen are so efficient, the card never arrived. My ex-girlfriend also sent me a birthday greeting. My ex-wife probably thought I've committed a serious crime and I'm now in jail, so no need to send a card to a criminal.

The Ambience

The restaurant had a cozy feeling, and the deco makes you feel like staying on a couple of hours. Every one was happy including me though I wish there's that special someone to spend the night with. The food was good. The birthday song made me feel like a kid again, or made me feel like a golden citizen... the candle blowing and cake cutting were symbolic. What did I wish for? I can't tell, and I can't remember either.

And Today...

... the actual day of my birthday, I'm all alone at home. I had breakfast with my parents and aunt at the Yong Tau Fu shop nearby, then they went home. I foot the bill - RM18.80, no problem. Not only that, I went to office (on this public holiday) to get something urgent done because the deadline is tomorrow, but I won't be in town. Why didn't I do it earlier? 'Coz I got the e-mail only yesterday evening!! I've tried real hard to feel good as it's "my day" - well, it hasn't worked. I guess I'll just go eat my take away lunch and watch TV.

On the positive side: I celebrated my birthday yesterday, so cheer up, for Christ's sakes!
On the negative side: - don't be so negative -

To What Extent..

To what extent would you go in order to seek knowledge? Well, I'm currently providing a language guidance class to about 20 students; some of them come from afar, and their parents don't mind waiting for them till the class ends. There are others who come in the following modes:

- take the city bus
- drive on their own
- rent a car (one student did that)
- get a ride from a friend

To these students, I take my hat off to them for attending despite the odds. What I'm rather unhappy about is that, it's not a multiracial class. It would be good to have different races mingle in the small classes which I conduct each week. I'm all for racial integration. After all, we are Malaysians. It is my hope that in future intakes, there would be more races.

No More Styrofoam Boxes

Prior to joining Tzu Chi, I wasn't too bothered about the environment. I'm not an active member at all, but as time went on, I realised that I need to do whatever I could to save the environment - no matter how small the act is. Well... today, I wanted to have breakfast in campus. I used to go to the cafe, get a takeaway packed in styrofoam box, take it back to office and eat there. I boycotted that cafe for at least a month because I knew I'd gonna get another white box, thus I'm contributing to the destruction of the environment, and not to mention my health too. But today I was so darn hungry I just had to go get something from the cafe... styrofoam or not - hey, I'm human, alright?

As soon as I arrived, I started looking for the styrofoam box. It was nowhere to be found. Realising that I was looking for that box, the girl at the counter asked "Nak bungkus (wanna pack)?" - and took out a cardboard box!! Well....finally!!! After all the green campaigns, they decided to get rid of the styrofoam boxes for good. I was so delighted that I had to take a snapshot of the box. So here are two photos:

The recycle logo: authentic? Beats me

Yummy but oily. Is someone drooling already?

The Good Samaritan

Not long after publishing the previous blog, there was a phone call. A damsel in distress - at 7:45 AM!!! She was on her way to the office, and the six of us were supposed to travel to Cyberjaya in a van when he car stalled somewhere. She couldn't describe the location well, so I just guessed it. At that time, I was in a depressed situation, but I told myself that I wouldn't want to be in her situation, would I? So, I switched off my PC, took the stairs (the lift wasn't working), rushed down 3 floors as I dislike making others wait for me, got to my car and drove out of campus.

As I was just a few metres out of the campus grounds, she called me. "Hi, I've taken a cab already..." - and she thanked me. Well, on normal days, I'd have complained and screamed to myself: "What a waste of time, why didn't I wait longer?" - but today... somehow, I realise I don't have any friends, and the best I could do is to help those in need, even if they don't need my help in the end. So since my assistance was no longer needed, I turned back to campus quietly, and she was already there waiting for the van. It didn't matter as she's safe.

I honestly do not have the heart to see people suffer. As far as possible, I'll put myself in their situation. How would they feel if there's no one to turn to? If I come into this situation again, I'll just provide help without thinking twice about it.

I've my strengths... but my weaknesses overshadow my strengths so much that the strengths sort of become unnoticeable.

Forgive Me, Father

Our Heavenly Father,

The past 12 months have been traumatic for me, my family and my friends. The things I've done, the acts that I showed and the words I uttered are not what I'm used to, and not what is expected of me. Please Lord, I beg you to forgive me for all my sins which I've done toward the people I love and I care. And I also beg for forgiveness to those whom I have sinned. Give me more wisdom, patience and selflessness from now on to be better than the person I once used to be. Bless all those who still care for me, Lord, whether they're my family members or friends. I pray that they and their families will stay in good health and in happiness always. Pray for me...

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in Heaven

Hallowed by Thy name

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done on earth

As it is in Heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

Forgive us for our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into tempation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom

And the power

And the glory

Forever and ever

A-men.