When People Can't Shuddup

Office politics, office bitching, office back-stabbing, office ass-licking ... all of them suck BIG time.

Those of you who have nothing better to do but look into other people's business, please buzz off. Those of you who are so free that you meddle into your friends' lives, please shoo! Those who enjoy killing their friends' happiness by spreading "news" along the corridor just because they themselves can't receive happiness - or have not arrived at that stage yet - should just jump off the Petronas Twin Towers.

God gave you a mouth to speak, ears to hear and eyes to see.

God never gave you a mouth to slander, back-stab, and bitch about others. He never gave you ears to hear, and then spread the "word" around about people's personal lives for the enjoyment of others. He never gave you eyes to see your friends' happiness, only to pull them down by saying things that are detrimental to the soul.



So, people... if you've nothing better to do at the office, just go fly a kite. That way, nobody (else) gets hurt.

Language Destruction or Evolution

It began with the ubiquitous SMS. Now it has spread to any forms of writing, formal or not, online or offline. I'm not talking about the communications technology itself but the language used as the result of this technology. It has become so fashionable to use abbreviations in our wireless text messages that even in formal writing, we may inadvertently write in the same way we send SMSes.

"I need to see you A.S.A.P". Looks/sounds familiar?

Then, we also have other common ones like:

• OMG
• BRB
• BTW
• WTF

There are other not-too-common ones, at least to me they're uncommon like:

• TTYL
• BFF
• ROTFLWLITA

...and, just a minute ago, I received a message that read:

"GBU and ur family" - It took me a few seconds to guess what GBU is.

Is technology destroying the language we use, or is this what we call the evolution of language?

By the way, who owns a car with a registration plate bearing the number "WTF 69"?

Innocent Kids

Why do we love children? ... I received this via e-mail this morning, so I thought it's good to share with all of you. Gosh, that makes me wanna have a kid, too - any kid.

Enjoy!
===============================================================

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam 's underwear!'

What do You Want?

Do you know what you want in life?

If you do, then you're blessed with the ability to decide the path that you're going to create for the rest of your life. You know your dreams, your desires, your future plans for yourself and your family. People in this league dare to fail; they'll fall, stand up and walk with their heads held up high. These are positive-minded people who believe that negatives do not have a place in their life. While they know their life's destination is not vital, they have a firm mind, and their feet are solidly planted to the ground. These are the people who would go far in life... and would one day succeed.

If you don't know what you want in life, you'll spend most - or the entirety - of your life looking for that special something as you don't have any one to guide you. You'll be like a lost lamb not knowing if what you're doing is right or not. You're afraid that making mistakes would destroy you; therefore you comfortably stay where you are. If you don't know what you want in life, others would most likely despise you, blaming you for your inferiority and for being fickle-minded when you keep changing your mind, or you can't make that crucial decision to move on. Not knowing what you want in life is like an eternal curse. It haunts you as you can't decide and stick to that decision; and when there's hardly anyone out there whom you could reach out to, things become bad.

So, what do you really want in life? I don't know... some people spend their entire life not knowing what they want. Could they be helped, short of sending them to a shrink?

The Power of a Child

I used to blog-hop at nights, checking out other people's posts. I've stopped doing that lately due to unforeseen circumstances. During my blog visits, I noticed many posts of family-related issues, particularly those of children, with pictures of them that depict their innocence and antics being splashed across the page.

When you have a child:

• you learn to be a mommy and a daddy
• you learn to exercise patience & understanding
• you learn about yourself - they have YOUR genes
• you learn to be more hygienic to ensure your child stays healthy
• you learn new things so that you are able to bond with your child

When you have a child:

• you see joy in their faces, and you'll be joyful too
• you see tears in their eyes, and you'll be tearful
• you see them grow, and you'll be proud of your achievement

When you have a child:

• you think before you act, for they pick up things real fast
• you think before saying anything bad, for they learn words quickly
• you think before making any drastic decisions, for you know they need you

Children are indeed wonderful people; it's because of children that people change, mostly for the better. It's because of children that life that sometimes sucks becomes more bearable. I don't have one myself, but when I read those posts, I'm just glad to see how happy it is to be a parent.

I Can't See

I see people, in their darkest moments, smile.
I see people, despite not having all the luxuries in life, smile.
I see people falling down and picking up their lives again
I see people cracking the hardest rock till none remain

Here I am in tears
Wanting to wash away my fears
Here I ask "Why me?"
Is it just meant to be?

I am blind
In a tunnel of blackness
What could I find
Other than madness?
Where is the light?
It's nowhere in sight!

This satanic nightmare must cease
Let me go, please, in peace
I want to taste the limited sweetness
I want to feel the ultimate boldness
I want to ride the path to happiness

Buying Genuine

I needed Microsoft Word installed on my old notebook to faciltitate word processing. I've been using Open Office, which is free, downloaded from the Internet. However, I found that switching between Word (in the office) and Open Office (at home) with the same document causes a loss in formatting. Guess what? There was a bargain at YouBeli.com, and I bought an original version for RM279 - Word, Excel, Powerpoint. That's all I need, and I got 3 licences, too.

I had thought of getting the copied version but from past experience, it's not worth it. From now on, I'll just get originals as they guarantee functionality and security threat-free.


This is my new "toy" - the Student 2010 Edition



Weather Fury!

The front page of the local papers says: "Weather fury" in big red letters, and you see this photo. A glance at it makes you think that occurred in the U.S., but no, this one happened in our own backyard yesterday - in the northern state of Perlis.



The mini twister at Jejawi, Perlis. Photo from The Star Online

If you've often thought that Malaysia will never experience such a weather phenomena, think again. Tsunami struck us once a couple of years back. This is not the rage of God to show His anger at us. It is a sign that we all have to pray for a better tomorrow, and that those affected will be in good hands; it tells us the devastating effects development has on our planet. There is power in a prayer.

We should all pray that our generations to come will be able to sustain the savaging environment as a result of the actions of their forefathers - their greed for more money, their quest to be the best in the world, their thirst for power have hastened the Earth's premature demise. Let us pray that our future generations will help save the planet, or at least let it live a little longer. A-men!



Silent Heartbreaker

Question: What's worse than a heart attack?
Answer: A heartbreak

While a heart attack could possibly be genetic, a heartbreak is not. Any one of us could suffer from a heartbreak at any point in our lives, some more often, while others none at all.

Believe it or not, the broken heart syndrome causes the release of plenty of stress hormones (adrenaline), making the heart weaker and temporarily "stunned".

"Acute emotional stress, such as being involved in a car crash, losing a loved one, losing your job, going through a divorce, having a bad boss and experiencing natural disasters such as tsunami or earthquake, are known to be triggers in healthy adults... (Dr. Zulkeflee Muhammad, Clinical Cardiologist, NHI Malaysia)" - Read more here.

In Malaysia, when someone loses a loved one and is heartbroken, they're left to deal with the situation on their own. Some managed to wake up and move on easily, while others struggle for years before they could stand on their own, and there are some unfortunate ones who would take their own lives to end their miseries.

Family members can't do much, relatives just make a mockery of the loss (esp. if it's a divorce), colleagues lend both ears but only to give you a chance to speak to "someone" whom you badly need. Going to a psychiatrist costs money, not to mention that people's perception of you change the minute they know that you've gone to a shrink. Where is the Support Group? None... not in Malaysia. Here, you'll need to be a member of a religious community in order to be "saved".

So what happens to those who have this broken heart syndrome? We can only pray for them that they will eventually see the light, and if possible, be with them as much as we can - not just to listen, but to comfort and to guide. Leave them alone, and chances are, they will go astray.

Melaka Holiday, So...

It's a holiday today - a special holiday to commemorate Melaka as a Developed City. It's a one-off holiday, and I got to know via office e-mail yesterday evening. There was a big celebration at a stadium, and a really horribly massive jam that puts the jam in Fed Highway to shame.

This morning, the weather has been really gloomy. Thought of cutting the grass, but I it rained last night. The grass was wet, so cannot cut using the machine. I went out, had my breakfast at a mamak store nearby, eating the roti canai again. I got home and the first thing I did was to turn on Astro, the radio channel, loudly. Silence often kills me. I then went upstairs and ironed my shirts - well, not an expert - but at least the creases are not very noticeable. I rested a while and checked my e-mail. Nope, nothing to read.

Then I took out the vacuum cleaner and sucked out all the dust in my bedrooms upstairs and downstairs. Floor feels cleaner but not clean enough. I shall mop the floor another day. Once done, I rested and surfed the net, checked Facebook for any updates on anything interesting. Made a couple of comments here and there.

My Yahoo Messenger and MSN have been very eerily silent... and my mind is idling again. Before I become nuts and go to Tanjung Rambutan, I picked up the phone and called home.

"Hi, I'm going home for lunch." - I told dad.

"Why? Anything wrong?"

"No... today holiday what."

"Huh? Oh, you also holiday ah..."

OK... so i'm gonna take a shower now, then go to wherever I'm supposed to go and have lunch with my parents and cousins.

If only I were a computer...

It is Interest...Again

I was surfing aimlessly a few minutes ago, and stumbled across a video clip in The Star Online. I wasn't interested in the girl in the video, but I was more interested in how she got to where she is now. And I discovered that luck (again) plays a role. She was a college student, but dropped the psychology course she took, and focused on her interest - photography. The money allocated for her studies were invested in getting a DSLR - and it's a Canon (i'm not advertising for this company, ok). She began shooting non-stop over 2 years, and people noticed her work.. and it all started from there.

Why am I attracted to this video? It's not because of the 19-year-old teen, but it's the fact that she dared to defy her initial ambition, drop everything related studies, and pursue her interest... and it paid off. They are bold.... very bold indeed.



Moral of the Story: If you've an interest, pursue it. Unless you're a book worm, forget about getting that paper qualification which is not related to your interest. Nowadays, having tertiary qualification doesn't guarantee you a job.

The Middle Finger

Every morning when I wake up, I try bloody hard to make my day look good. However, it's easier said than done. Forcing as much as I can to be OK, my mind suddenly goes on auto pilot, takes over and ruins half the day. I just don't know how other singles or "singles" do it - but then, maybe they're in a different position.

You know the feeling? You wanna get on with life - that's what people have been telling you, and that's what you really want to do - but each time you thought that you're on the road to freedom, it hits a snag, you pull back and get into a depression all over again.

Sometimes, I am successful in handling my emotions. I come to office feeling euphoric, that nothing could stop me from feeling great, and that things will be fine today. Well, it always doesn't last long. I don't know why. People have advised me to join this and that to help me get back on my feet; well, I did join this and that, but maybe I've not been commtted enough. Perhaps it has something to do with my level of stress the day before and will continue to increase. Who says teaching is "an easy job" just because we have "nothing much to do", "get to go home early" and have "many holidays"? Fuck you, if you have this notion. We have other unseen and unappreciated duties on our plate besides moulding teens into useful and knowledgeable citizens.

Now, if I add work-related stress to my own personal stress, what do I get? A total wreck!! If not for my logic and some supportive "Samaritans", I'd have dug my own grave and be buried long ago; it's because of logic that I'm still holding on till today. Ironically, this logic is not helping me to make good, solid decisions. So I end up fumbling, and falling down real hard over and over again. It's hard for me to understand how some people's lives appear to be cut out nicely for them - perhaps it's their "karma", or God bless them more - I donno. Yeah, yeah... I know on the surface things look good for them, but who knows what problems they have, eh? You look at them... wah, so "easy" life; they get what they want. Don't ask also sometimes they get, and you wanna be like them, but you know it's stupid because you can't be them, let alone be like them. You're just who you are; so just live with whatever meagre luck you have been blessed with. I'm not looking at materialistic stuff - that's just not me. I don't wish for the latest gadgets for Christmas or a big win in Magnum. I'm just trying to look for ways to be happy... is that too much to ask? How do I tell my brain to stop fucking things up, and let me live a cheerful and contented person like many of you out there?

So, here comes the big question. What am I gonna do to make things better for me?

Answer: ... just continue PRAYING and BELIEVING in the power of prayer that I will never have to go through this immense internal suffering. I just wanna be FREE from the shackles of this trauma, and be the normal person that I used to be a long time ago. Don't be fooled; praying alone isn't enough. God won't come down to Earth and rescue me. I have to DO something to make it work.



The Dark Side of 10-10-10

Only two days ago, some of us were celebrating Triple Ten Day. However, on that very same day, others were mourning the death of their loved ones. It has been the talk of the entire nation. See these pix:

Well, I don't know what to say about this accident. It's a national disaster. What could have caused such a disastrous accident that killed so many lives? The bus was torn apart in the mishap! So were some of the cars! There were plenty of gory scenes there. May their souls rest in peace.

The Triple Ten

Tomorrow, 10 Oct. 2010 is Triple Ten Day. It occurs once every 100 years. What's the significance of this day? Absolutely nothing besides the fact that the date contains three 10's. However, to many humans on this planet, Triple Ten Day calls for a celebration. I bet at Padang Merdeka or some other open areas or club houses, people are all ready with their party hats and beer bottles to welcome this day, which is like 3 hours from now.

What's gonna happen on this day? Couples will tie the knot because the date is unique (forget about geomancy or looking at "good" dates for marriage), and you'll never forget your wedding anniversary. Cool. Not only that, many couples would force childbirth, not knowing the effects it has on the newborn. 

What am I gonna do? Err... nothing. I'll still go to church, I'll still be around for sure.

"Go la and enjoy the celebration!" - whatever for? Not now... not just yet. But to those who will join the party tonight, have fun and remain sober. Don't forget to pray for those who are unable to celebrate due to unforeseen circumstances.

UPDATE: Acccording to a renown Feng Shui master, Triple Ten Day is good only for those born in the Year of the Snake... and I know someone who's born in this year. So, God Bless You, and all of us today.

 

Never Stop Loving You

I was driving to work early this morning, and I heard the song entitled "Never Gonna Stop Loving You" - and I started pondering the lyrics - hey, am I not supposed to be driving? In reality, if you have this kind of woman who sticks with you no matter what (as long as you have space to move), you're truly blessed. But in reality, this doesn't happen to everyone. I also wonder why the tune of the song is so lively and cheerful... maybe it's telling us not to be sad when someone dumps you... maybe the lyricist is plain lousy. No matter what, just ignore the video clip which I find rather annoying - but listen to the song - as I see not much of a link between the clip and the song but it certainly makes a good workout song.

Never Gonna Stop Me From Loving You
(Sonia Evans)

Even when you're home

You won't pick up your phone

And take my call

When I see you on the street

You stare down at your feet

You won't talk at all

If only you would see me

One more time and maybe

Someday, you will find

That you could really love me

You could really need me

Maybe you could change your mind

But you'll never stop me from loving you

It doesn't really matter

what you put me through

You'll never stop me from loving you

When I know that you're alone

I wander to your home

And catch a glimpse or two

It seems that all the time

The thought is on my mind

Of being with you

The times I've tried to see you

You know I would meet you

Any time, night or day

But still you just refuse

And no matter what you do

I'll never let you get away

But you'll never stop me from loving you

It doesn't really matter

what you put me through

You'll never stop me from loving you

Oh, woh, you'll never stop

me from loving you

Wherever you gon' go, I will follow you

You'll never stop me from loving you

Oh, woh, oh, woh

Never stop

Never stop me

Oh, oh, oh woh, oh woh

Never stop

Never stop me

If only you would see me

One more time and maybe

Someday you will find

That you could really love me

You could really need me

Maybe you could change your mind

But you'll never stop me from loving you

It doesn't really matter

what you put me through

You'll never stop me from loving you

Oh, woh, you'll never stop

me from loving you

Wherever you gon' go I will follow you

You'll never stop me from loving you

The Greatest Love of All

We hear of child abuse, babies being abandoned, but what we don't know is that, these kids are potential hidden jewels of this ailing world of ours. They can be the ones who would transform this world to a better place for all. Treat them well, and let them lead the way... listen. This song gives me goose pimples. It's powerful, it's beautiful. If you can't receive love, you can surely give some, and I'm certain you have some to give.

I therefore appeal to parents and future parents to be mindful of the message in this song. You don't have to spoil your child, but be firm. You may not be able to have your own child for whatever reasons, but your actions would touch the heart of every child you meet. This, in itself, is very satisfying.. and I believe, one day, I will achieve that satisfaction... you will too.

I Have a Vision...

About a fortnight ago, I was with a friend. This meeting opened my eyes about my own life. She has spent many years of her life helping children from all over the world through World Vision, an organisation that helps rural communities that are in the poverty level, so that these communities would eventually be self-sufficient and be economically better.

I heard of this organisation years ago but didn't bother much about that, though I was kind of keen to participate. But after seeing photos that my friend had taken, I made that decision to be part of this organisation. I decided to sponsor a child so that he/she would get good education, health, love and everything else basic that children ought to have. This is my vision. I didn't know what to expect, and whose child I'll be sponsoring. I did what my instinct told me to do because I wanted to help these poor people. For each child, sponsors donate RM50 (or more) monthly to provide them with basic education, health care and amenities which their villages and community need. I paid my first month's installment, and I waited.

Today, I got a letter from World Vision Malaysia. In this letter, there is a portrait photo of a little boy, complete with his profile which includes basic family background information. His name - Watthanasin, he's 9 years old, and studies in Grade 2. He lives in an agricultural province in Thailand. When I saw his photo, I fell in love with him - he's cute, and looks shy.  World Vision will give me an annual update on his progress with an updated photo. My dream is to see him one of these days...

Now, I have a "son", albeit temporarily. Watthanasin will never be my own child, I'll never get to hold his hand and walk him to school, we'll never get to meet every day or even every month, and I can never bring him home as he has his own family; nevertheless, I'll still love him. Yeah, I'm glad that now I've a "son" whom I'm sponsoring till he's old enough to be independent - perhaps in 6-7 years' time, or till his community doesn't need my sponsorship anymore. If I've the time and cash to spare, I want to have more "children" to help them lead a good life.

I guess life is not about more making money, being materialistic, or pursuing the highest qualifications. It's about helping others live a normal, good life, too. I pray to God that by helping Watthanasin and hopefully others (God willing), I will have a transformed life. I don't know what awaits me.

I do know that now I have a small responsibility. My responsibility is to remember my vision of helping Watthanasin grow; my responsibility is to stay in touch with my "son" by snail mail which will be delivered to him via World Vision Thailand.

NOTE: For security and privacy reasons, I can't publish the photo of this child, or reveal the exact location.

Here's Walter

This is one good video clip. It really is a creative use of the English language that makes people laugh. If you've seen it, then watch again :)

Enjoy!

Takda Anak Susah, Ada Pun Susah

Once we arrive at a certain age, our parents and relatives will ask that dreaded question:

"So, when are you going to settle down? You're not young anymore you know?"

Fine, then we happily got married (except yours truly), we are asked another dreaded question:

"Time to start a family, la. The older you get, the more difficult to conceive..."

OK, fine. We finally have children. As if that's not enough, there's more to come. This time, it's the complaints. My nephew is now 2-years-old, and his sleeping pattern is inconsistent. Often, when my mother invites my brother to this house for dinner, they'll be late because they don't want to disturb the sleeping child or else that boy would create a big fuss and show tantrums. And each time there's such an invitation, I'd hear this in the kitchen:

"Every time so late. Why can't they just get the kid into the car and come (sleeping or not)?" - mom's also afraid that the food would be cold by the time they arrive. I told her that it won't get cold so quickly. When mom makes noise, dad would do the same. So he actually said this:

"Next time, no need to invite them. Wait for the kid to be older."

It's annoying. It's the same old story each freaking week! Today, I just couldn't tolerate the same comments, so I had to open my mouth and say something to my parents:

"Look, you want a grandchild, now you've got it... it's up to them how they wanna bring up their kid. ... different kids are brought up in different ways" - it is true. No two children are brought up the same way. My siblings and I all have different characters, not only because of genetics, but it's environment, too. I may have no right to speak because I'm not a parent, yet I'm concerned about the unnecessary family tension.

I even added:

"When their daughter is born later, there could be more "problems"... you wait and see." - I certainly anticipate that if having one kid causes noise in THIS house, having another one would be worse. My sister-in-law is gonna give birth end of this year.

I feel sorry for my brother and my sister-in-law. Invited to dinner, but have to face the brunt of people who dislike late-comers, and want things their way. In a way, I'm a bad person blogging about this, but I still do it because I'm sad.

Sigh, I just don't know why this happens. And I wonder if it's the same in all families. I guess it's just the norm... "Nah, they just say things like that, but they don't mean it." - often, out of anger, we lash things out, not knowing that others are listening, and they won't know if what you have said was what you really meant.

I Went but Not Conquered

Today's a Saturday. I woke up later than usual - 8:04 AM - yes, later. I guess all the exhaustion of work has taken its toll because by 5:00PM, i'd already be half asleep! Yes, indeed mental exhaustion. The sun was shining brightly, and I eagerly wanted to get my chores done. Did some laundry, then went to breakfast.

At my regular breakfast outlet, I noticed a familiar car parked in a spot. I checked the registration plate - yup, I know that car. I didn't want to stop, so I made a detour and went elsewhere. I knew what I wanted to eat today, but the other shops were FULL or half-full of customers - I dislike crowds. So I returned to the first outlet and checked to see if the car was still there. It wasn't there anymore.

I know I'm gonna see that car or its passengers again some time in future. I also know I can't be avoiding this forever. When it happens again, I've to put on a bold front, put on a smile, or gather enough courage to wave at them and just sit far away because although I know them, I have become their enemy #1.

So, I ate, came home and did a bit of vacuuming. I noticed hairline cracks appearing on the walls... if only someone could call and talk to me.

But then... maybe i've to look for someone to talk to.

The Party that Wasn't

Last night, my parents and I were invited to a cousin's house for a house-warming dinner. It was a small yet nice house - it was a cozy home. I was looking forward to it until more people came in, and they started talking. I felt ... alone because previously, each time I attended a dinner or a function, I was accompanied by my ex-wife. Throughout the dinner, though I have seen many of them before, I remained silent and sat in a corner. Much later, I gathered the courage and managed to talk to another cousin of mine for a while.

Then the elderly aunts and my dad started talking about the family tree. They were curious how we are all related. One of them, Aunt Ruby, who knows my family and I well started taking notes and drawing the family tree. I was curious so I got to the table and watched. She was drawing up my family tree. She asked for my name, and I gave it to her.

"Eh, what's your wife's name? ..." she asked. She knows that I'm divorced. Dad protested: "No need!!" but she insisted that her name should still be in there. Not knowing what to do, I just gave the name to Aunt Ruby, though I felt awkward. Dad still protested but kept quiet after that.

Then a younger cousin whom we have never met started taking photos so that she knows who her relatives are. She called every one she knew last night, who is related to her.

She called my parents and I for a snapshot. "Eh! Your wife?"

I just said: "No", and mom also said: "No wife"...

I couldn't wait for the party to end. It was like waiting for all eternity for the party to end, though eventually I did talk to Aunt Ruby who's talkative as usual.

You know, people are usually so excited about attending gatherings and parties because they know it's gonna be plenty of fun and socialising. I wonder... when am I going to be able to attend parties without feeling alone again. The food was undeniably tasty, better than the ones I ate at some of the wedding dinners I had attended... so the food was the only thing that I looked forward to last night.

A friend whom I recently met said that when she lost her fiance long ago, it took her four years to pick her life up again; it was too traumatic. Her statement freaked me out. Four years is a very long time to suffer, and I wonder if I'd be in the same boat. It's easy for others to tell me ... "Move on, forget about the past" ... but they're not in my situation. They have never felt what it is like to lose someone and stay alone. Even some friends would stay away from us because they don't want to be dragged into sadness... in the end, you have to fight your own battle - I have to do that.

Life is unfair... really unfair. But that's life. It's also just luck and karma that things like this happen. Those who don't believe in karma would say that it's God's work; He has plans for me. No matter what, the pain will continue to linger.

When is My Turn?

When I browse blogs, I notice that many parents write about their children. You could actually follow their personal development on a regular basis, and how these parents handle situations. In each of these blogs, I see descriptions, photos and even video clips of the happiness that a child brings to the parents.

When I found my ex-classmates whom I've not seen in over 30 years on Facebook, I chatted with them, and they proudly say that they've kids - one even has six of them - and they've a family photo album on display. When they asked me "What about you? How many kids?", I knew what I had to reply. Yeah, of course I've another ex-classmate who's also in the same boat as I am, and there are thousands who live a joyful single life till the end of time, but that's not the focus here.

When I see my brother carrying his child, I see love, peace and joy. I would certainly like to carry my nephew each day but I can't, for he is not my child. It would be a joy to see your child turn, crawl, walk and ultimately talk at different stages of their lives. It is euphoric to hear the first babble and then the call for mommy and daddy.

Each day,  I have a great dream that one day - one fine day - I'll be a father and experience fatherhood like the rest of you. I don't know if I'll be a good father - I've lost a chance to be one. I don't have a clue if I'll ever get a second chance. Maybe better not because I've a bad temperament, and I'm impatient.

When is my turn? Don't ask because there's no answer; don't expect because it is gonna hurt... Only God knows.

But to all parents - new or experienced - out there, be thankful that you have a bundle of joy that was given to you by the Almighty. It doesn't matter if they're michievous, very naughty or throw tantrums every second. That is your gift. After all, they're kids - white sheets of cloth ready for you to paint pictures on them. Educate and treat them with kindness, respect and love; they will reciprocate. Eventually, the picture you get would be a very pretty and memorable one.



Representation of a Plant

I was in the garden this morning. The weather was sunny, and a plant caught my eye. I grabbed my camera and took a close-up shot with it. Well, I used the "Live View" mode and manual focus to capture this interesting shot which I think represents my present life.



Close-up but not close enough. Next time, I'll try using macro.



You see the cute little buds growing? They represent me, my family and others around me. Coincidentally, there are three leaves, too. Each of us will grow, experience new things and then die - just like the plants and any other living beings. Like the three buds on this plant greeting a new day, all of us have something new to experience; in my case, I've to start a new life and hopefully bloom into something nice. With constant water, sunshine, fertilizers and care, I'm sure the buds would grow well. And I will too, with regular positive encouragement, smiles, words of wisdom and love.

We will all grow old, and I do hope that before I'm too old, I'll see new buds again.

"The new beginning...."



Me, the Writer

I love to write. I've written articles to newspaper editors, poems and a real life story which appeared in the Reader's Digest about 8-10 years ago - I was paid US$500 for that. I'm not a good writer; I don't have enough flair for writing a full-blown article or a short story.

Recently, a colleague coaxed me into writing an article in a commemorative magazine for the Peranakan Association of Melaka (PPCM). I was rather reluctant initially as I knew it's gonna take time, but I love sharing what I know about my peranakan culture with others, so when the Secretary of the association approached me one day, I agreed. I was told to write two pages.

Last night, at the 110th Anniversary dinner, the magazine was sold to guests. Writers were also given a token of appreciation for their contribution to the magazine. Here's what was published:

Front of the commemorative magazine

The 2nd and 3rd page of the article

Guess what? I was also given a special token in the form of cash! That was a real surprise to me. This token was presented by the President of the Melaka PPCM. I walked up proudly on stage to receive this gift. I felt like an important person for a fleeting moment under bright lights and with two cameras facing me. It's a darn waste that I didn't bring my camera or else I could blog about the dinner.

"So, you're Kevin, eh? I've heard a lot about you." the president said as he gave a broad smile and shook my hand. Gosh, I really don't know what people have been telling him about me - I hope it's good, or maybe he was just exaggerating, I don't know. My father is a far more prominent person; I've always remained low profile.

"Come more often to the club," he added just before I left. Well PPCM has a club where members entertain themselves with songs, dance and games. Honestly, I don't go there because it's always at night, and I'm not very sociable. Maybe when I retire, I'll think of joining them.

For now, I've to work... and maybe some day continue writing heavier stuff - romance novels, sex tips etc.

Now I Know Who They Were

I've never thought I'd do this, but I did it yesterday. My parents wanted to visit a relative, and I took this opportunity to bring my camera along so that I could take shots of days gone by. I've been to her extra long colonial house since I was a little kid, and I've been intrigue by some of the photos I saw hanging on the plastered walls. The condition of the black and white photos have not changed a bit. I got to know that those are photos of my ancestors, whose relationship to me and names I never knew - or probably have forgotten - till a couple of days ago. Here are the photos:

Great Grandfather
Mr Chua Lip Tay

Great Grandmother
Mrs Ong Him Neo

Great-Great Grandmother
Mrs Lim Heng Neo

Grand Uncles

You'll see a bit of reflection on each photo as I dare not climb a chair or take them down in case something unfortunate happens. These are some of my relative's personal memorabilia not to be seen elsewhere. The photo of my grand uncles was originally taken in 1933 during the Wangkang Festival. Since there was no colour film at that time, each photo was hand-coloured. That's just amazing.

Well, I'm proud to say that I now know who my ancestors are though I still don't know what they did or how they had contributed to the Peranakans or Straits-born community. Maybe one day, I'll find out... yeah, one day.

I'm on a Diet with a Difference

OK, I've to admit it. I'm concerned about my weight - very concerned. Therefore, I'm going on a diet BUT with a difference. I need to stuff myself with food because I'm LOSING weight. Well, the amount of weight loss isn't too great but I'm having trouble putting on my pants because it keeps falling off even with a belt, and there's nothing nice to see behind the pants... I think I need to add between 5-10kg to my current weight to look nice.... hey, wait! Am I vain? No, I'm not. Men wanna look nice too.

I was very scrawny as a teen. When I started work, I put on a bit of weight, but when I came back to Malacca, I lost those hard-earned pounds. It took me years just to gain 4kg!!! Then I got married, and in the three years of marriage, I put on more weight, and the scale almost hit 70kg. from a mere 59kg, which is good to me. That didn't last long, though. Almost immediately after the divorce, I failed to maintain weight. It kept sliding downward. It has been 8 months since it happened, and I'm now down to 64kg. My height is 175 cm., and if the calculation is correct, the weight is still within the normal range.

To some of you, this little weight loss is absolutely nothing to be anxious about (I hope), and I know that stuffing myself with junk food and fast food is not a good way to increase weight. My appetite has been good; so has my ability to sleep. I don't know if it is my work, lack of happiness or something else that has been stopping me from gaining weight again.

I will never be overly depressed with this weight loss, yet I know if it keeps dropping, something must be wrong. Perhaps I need a change of diet... and a wife to cook nutritious home-cooked food for me. Maybe I should just go work in a restaurant instead of teaching. I want to add a little more flesh.

Long Holiday...what to do ah?

The office was deserted today as many Muslim employees have started their Aidil Fitri leave. So I took the opportunity to sneak out of the office early - I hope my boss isn't reading this. I'm not working for the next TEN days - that's right... 10 days of holidays partially because we were forced to take 3 days off. The rest are special holidays and weekends. I'll start work on ... on.... err... well, who cares? I can't remember but I know it's a Monday. So what am I gonna do?

I don't know. Perhaps I'll continue blogging regularly for 10 days, or rejuvenate my interest in photography. My poor Canon DSLR has been gathering dust in the cupboard for months already because I've been busy with classes, and I leave it at my mom's place most of the time... sigh. What a bloody waste of money; there are people who want one, yet they couldn't afford to own one.

How about travelling? Nah, I don't travel alone. It's no fun travelling without someone you love. Somehow, I'm not a lone traveller.

So what am I gonna do for 10 days? If I blog about it, that means I'm doing something; if I don't, that means I'll spend a lot of time sleeping and being a couch potato.

What to Do?

Last night, I prayed for a sunny morning as I wanted to cut the grass. It had been raining; the weather has been unpredictable in recent months. This morning, the sky appeared gloomy but God answered my prayers, the sun shone brightly by 8:00 AM as I was having breakfast at the mamak stall eating my favourite roti canai and drinking fresh cow's milk.

I didn't waste my time getting the grass cutter. As I was cutting the grass, I saw my neighbour. We exchanged greetings.

"Good morning, holiday ah?", the neighbour asked.

"No, I'm on leave - yesterday and today."

"Your wife working?", he said with a smile. He and my ex-wife are colleagues but in different faculties.

I sheepishly replied, "We're separated already."

My neighbour was stumped. "What do you mean separated?"

"We're divorced." Short and straight to the point.

"Ah?? What happened??" he exclaimed. Can't blame his ignorance as he's seldom at home till lately.

I shrugged my shoulders. What more could I answer?

"But... her parents came the other day right?" - he was still in a state of disbelief.

"If recently, those were my parents. If it's long ago, probably hers."

"So now you stay alone?" he asked. Yes, I don't have another woman in my life.

He shook his head. "So sorry..." - and there was a pause. "Sad la," he countinued as he looked at me. "Nowadays, things are different..."

I looked at him. "Yeah..." that's all I could utter. Then he continued with his work. As he turned around, I heard him repeat to himself, "Sad la".

I continued cutting my grass thinking of our conversation.  Each time someone asks me "What happened?" I just could not respond as I'm partially to be blamed too. As the blade of the machine rotated, I kept asking myself why on earth this is happening to me.

After the divorce, I live alone - except on weekends - while my ex-wife lives with her parents every single day about 300 meters away. Other neighbours could testify that I don't bring women home. Strangers have eyes to see that each time I go out, I'm alone unless a colleague wants to have lunch or dinner with me, which very rarely happens. Go ask any pub owner and see if they've ever seen me before. I'm made to look like the state's No.1 criminal... well, maybe I'm a criminal in the making - damn me.

I'm trying to be happy but each time someone asks that question, I'll reminisce and feel sad. I've lost a wife,  I only have me. Each day I pray that I've enough strength to live on, and live with the fact that there will still be questions like "What happened" and "Do you still keep in touch with her?" till it's time to leave this world; it doesn't matter if I remarry or not.

I finished cutting the grass in an hour or so.

"Hello!" the neighbour called again.

He handed me some mangoes. He plants a mango tree in his garden.  He is an Indian, and to the Hindus, mango leaves are hung above the door frame for blessings. I guess he felt sad for me but grateful that he has a family. Perhaps this kind gift also symbolises blessings that Mr. Siva, my neighbour, is passing on to me.

Thanks, Mr Siva. I need all the blessings I can get... and may God bless you and your family too.

Transformers 3 in Production!

I love three types of movies - science fiction (sci-fi), comedy and animated. One of my favourite movies is Transformers. I've watched both series, and you know what? Transformers 3 is now in production, and is expected to be released in July 2011 (seriously), and in 3D. There are lots of fake trailers out there, but they're all very creative. I wonder why Michael Bay doesn't sue YouTube? Well, it's alright - it's for everyone's entertainment I guess :)

Here's a sneak preview of some of the vehicles taken by a bystander who had been waiting for the cars to appear.

This is REAL footage (taken by a bystander)

This is the FAKE but creative trailer




The official trailer is not out yet.

New vehicles, new transformation, new enemies - and hopefully more exciting than the previous ones. In terms of storyline, well ... I wouldn't expect anything to change. It would just be good against evil, and rescueing a skimpily clothed damsel in distress.

Bye-bye Students

Do you remember the time when you had a class party at the end of the year to celebrate the completion of you studies, and to move on to the next level? Well, I completed my school years long, long ago. However, today is my last day TEACHING my present students in this campus. After 13 weeks of sweat and challenges, I can finally raise my hand in jubilation that I've taught them in the best way I could.

I thanked my students for being good, and I apologised to them if I've said or done anything wrong. Well, they truly appreciated my gesture. In fact, they were sad to see me leave. I told them I'm not coming back, which is true, because I have been on loan for this semester. I shall be based in Malacca again next semester onward.

"Teacher, am I good?" one student asked.

"No, you're sometimes naughty, sometimes bad." -  I said with a little smile. My international students didn't know what "naughty" meant - poor kids. I must've been a bad teacher.

"Teacher, I like you." - this kid said .. and he has always been the noisiest one in class. Well, that's sweet, thanks. We're talking about 18-19 year old kids who have come from another country to study here. The other group of students are mostly adults from age 19-40 years old, many doing their postgraduate studies.

Surprisingly, I've remained rather calm throughout the 13 weeks despite the teenage students' antics and mischief. With the exception of one or two loud outbursts, things went very well.

Am I gonna miss them? Sigh... yeah I will, but I'm not coming back here. It's just too tiring.

Early Festive Invitation

It is now Ramadhan - the fasting month, and Muslims will celebrate Hari Raya Aidil Fitri at the end of the month. With just over a week away, the mood has already started. Festive songs are played in the administrative office, and paraphernalias linked to this festival have started to appear in towns.

This morning, a cleaner came into my office. She normally comes with another cleaner, and she has always been the quiet and sultry one. However, this morning was different.  She came in first, and as she was sweeping the floor, she said with a cheer: "Raya bawak rumah eh, cikgu? (Come to my house on Hari Raya, teacher)" - I asked her where she lives and so on.  

It was a pleasant surprise to receive this invitation. I doubt I'll go to the cleaner's house as I'm generally a shy person and I would totally stay away from strangers. Nevertheless, her invitation was meaningful to me. Malaysians are generally very hospitable.

I guess ... there's no place like home - with warts and all.

Get a Camera lah

I have an aunt who loves to travel, but then all her travels are not documented, so only she knows what she has seen and experienced. She's now on a 12-day cruise to Scandinavia, and I bet when she returns she'd just brag that it's a beautiful place, the weather is great, the cruise liner is very huge and so on. Where's the evidence? None. She doesn't have a camera, depending on others to capture good moments on her behalf.

Nowadays, taking photos is so easy. It has never been easier than just point and click, and you don't even need to figure out what film to buy. It's too bad that some people believe that taking photos is just a waste of resources. "Nah, I don't know how to take photos" or "I don't like taking photos."

Somehow, people fail to see the value of taking personal snapshots of events and experiences to be shared with friends, members of family and future generations. I had a small debate with mom last night; I told her that it is important to record evidences of the past for posterity. Without photos, our children and grandchildren and later generations don't have a clue what we went through. Without photos, my brother wouldn't know what his grandfather looked like, and my niece and nephew don't know what their great-grandparents looked like.

My late grandparents' wedding photo taken
circa mid-1930s

The photo above was recaptured using my DSLR, and edited for clarity. At least now, my family (and bloggers) know what traditional Straits-born (peranakan) wedding looks like 70 years ago. My late grandfather wore modern wedding attire rather than the traditional one - nobody knows why.

Therefore, go get yourself a camera, shoot memorable moments. Share those photos with your loved ones. Don't be selfish and keep those memories to yourself. And don't make excuses that taking photo is so difficult, or toting a small camera is very inconvenient. :-) 

p/s: This is not a paid post, in case you're wondering.

One Good Deed

This morning, I went to the post office to pay my utility bills. As I opened the glass door, I noticed from the corner of my eye, a woman sitting on a chair against the wall. She was looking at the queue. There were three others in front of me. The young girl in front had finished her transaction, and I thought that lady was her mother. No she wasn't.

When it was the next customer's turn, I looked at the lady again. In her hand, there were some RM50 notes and bills. I realised that she had been waiting for her turn. I have no idea how long she had been sitting there. She had a jacket over her; so either she was feeling very cold or she was not well. Or perhaps she was waiting for the counter to be clear before paying her bills.

Being a shy person, I initially didn't want to open my mouth to ask. Eventually, I gathered enough courage to ask the stranger: "Mau bayar bill, ka? (You want to pay your bills?)" to which she smiled broadly and nodded. I immediately told her to go ahead and pay first. I waited behind her. She paid, and left. I saw a bunch of keys in her hand. Perhaps she was in a hurry to go somewhere.

Well, I'm glad that I've done a good deed. It may be small, but I suppose it's meaningful to that woman, or else she'd probably have to wait till I've done my payment.

Just Listen

My students had their presentations today. One of them didn't turn up, and as a result, his partner had to present alone. He didn't know what had happened to his best friend, though he knew that his friend had a problem.

Then at lunch, another student stopped me at the cafe and informed me that the absent student would like to do his presentation. Of course, I was annoyed. He was absent for the presentation, left his best friend alone, and yet he wanted to present later. Anyway, I told the messenger to ask that student to see me at 1:00 PM because I'd like to hear from him the reason for his absence, but there's no guarantee that I'd allow him to present.

Just before 1:00 PM, the boy came into my office and he had beads of sweat on his neck. His first words were "I'm sorry... I hope you'll let me explain... not sure if you'll accept or not." - I had no reason to be mad so I listened tentatively to his excuse. Apparently, he had a major argument with his dad the previous night over the phone. It had something to do with his studies here, and the fees. He wanted to be independent, but his father appears to control him. I reminded him that he should have at least informed his best friend, but he said he didn't want him to know. Then, I allowed him to present...

After presenting, he apologised again and continued his story. I continued listening to him ... he didn't have a good childhood, he wanted to be on his own as he didn't like to be controlled, he likes to visit other countries and help if he could, he wanted to study here. He talked about his country which oppresses its people, and he didn't like that. ... he wanted to be successful - on his own because he said: "What if there's no one there for me (one day)?"

I offered a bit of advise. I didn't want to talk too much as I'm not qualified enough to advise. Often, if we have nothing better to say, it's wiser to just listen. It means a lot to the other party - just a smile or a nod would sometimes suffice. And I remember him saying "I need someone to talk to... " - well, I hope he'll sort things out eventually but no matter what, he still has to come for a test in two days' time.

Tears of Joy

A blogger sent this to me after reading my previous blog, so I'm sharing it with all of you. I was watching it midway when my eyes began to tear, but I continued till the end.





Thanks, Daniel for sharing with me this video. There is a 2nd part to this video, maybe later...

So people, go hug your husband, your wife, your children each day with full of love. You have that chance. Just do it without reservations; even if you've had a bad argument the day before, even if you've been hurt, just do it. And make that a habit.

Happy Moms

I have been surfing the net and checking out a couple of blogs created by mothers. We call these moms "Mommy Bloggers" in the virtual world. These are the hardworking moms who take time off from work  and after work to blog about anything. Most of them write about their life as a mother, and they have pictures of the cute newborns to 7-year-olds doing various stuff, and posing for the camera.

When I see these pictures, I could sense the mothers' happiness seeing their toddlers grow each day, while  sharing with other mommy bloggers their ups and downs as caretakers, not to mention offering tips to enhance their children's well-being. I suppose all the burden of bearing a child for nine months (or less for premature ones) is worth it after all. The excruciating pain of being in labour and giving birth to a child is temporary compared to the excitement, joy and everlasting love that these mothers have for their babies, toddlers and kids.

I see these kids in their blogs, I smile... and I'm envious of these parents because they have the opportunity to bring up their own flesh and blood. It is never easy to raise a child as the commitment and patience must be there at all times. My wish...

My wish is to have my own child one day so that I can share the joy, feel the excitement, learn to be responsible like every other parent. It's so nice to be able to cuddle your little one when you get back from work, or hearing them call you "Daddy" for the first time, or greeting you "Daddy come back already!"  and running to you for a hug, or hearing them say "I love daddy and mommy". Of course, when they become teenagers, things could be different, but that's another story. This wish of mine may just  likely be an unfulfilled one. Age is catching up... FAST ... and I also need a wife. No, I'm not desperate; it would be good if I could get married.

God willing. Maybe God knows I could only be a single, so I leave it in His hands. :-)

A Hope

My 43rd birthday has just passed. Yeah, it's "shocking" I'm THAT old already, but age is just a number because I still feel like a teenager and have desires of one. I have never made any resolutions as I know I can't keep them; I'm as fickle-minded as a nerdy professor. Nevertheless, I would like to have hope.

My Top 10 Golden Hopes

I hope that:

1. This country continues to enjoy peace and harmony
2. This world becomes a better place to live in
3. My parents age gracefully and happily, and be in good health
4. I will be a far better and matured person than I am now
5. The pain that I've experienced would disappear for good
6. My siblings enjoy fruitful and fulfilling lives with their own families
7. I will be successful in my career and love life
8. My best friend becomes a successful entrepreneur
9. Every one I know forgives me for the bad deeds I've done to them
10. God forgives me because I've committed just too many sins

Those are my hopes. I believe you have your own too.

For a Birthday Boy

Today's 11 Aug. 2010 - it's a date not to be repeated. The reason is it's my birthday and it's a public holiday in Malacca; today's the beginning of Ramadan, the fasting month for Muslims. How many people are privileged enough to have their birthdays fall on a public holiday? Well... it's a special day for me, or is it? It's even more special because for the first time ever, my parents and my aunt stayed overnight at my place just for my birthday.

Pre-birthday dinner

I'm kinda traditional when it comes to celebrating birthdays. I'd like it to be celebrated (if there is one) on the day itself, but this year it's celebrated a day before (which was not a holiday) to cater to those who are unable to attend the dinner - it's always dinners for us. It's fine with me.

Well, I'm not too excited about the celebration. To me, as long as you remember my birthday, I'm happy enough. No need parties, birthday cakes or gifts. A personal call would be really appreciated. See how simple I am? It's just gonna be another ordinary day anyway, at least for me. I donno about you guys who'd go partying the whole night long, and extend through the next day. OK, food time. Here's what we all ordered at this renown Thai restaurant:

That's edible raw leaf with rubber bands...
err.. I mean carrots below each one

Every one's favourite: Pineapple fried rice

Crispy rice dipped in spicy sauce with meat

Spicy fried rice

Stir fried traditional noodles: BEFORE

AFTER: Notice the glass containers with chilli powder, sugar,
pickled green chilli, sugar and ground nuts. Mix them all
into the noodles

The German Black Forest cake: Simply delicious

The bill - minus the cake - came  up to about RM140 (approx. US$40), which is rather inexpensive for seven people. Dad foot the bill. Thanks a million dad.

The Gifts

My brother and his wife presented to me a gift which I opened only this morning. I didn't wanna open it yesterday as it was not my birthday yet. I felt the gift, and I immediately knew what it was.

Well, I guess this is better than studying for a Master's degree
- which I've miserably failed

Both of them are pious Christians, and they've seen me in church, so it's only appropriate that they bought a religious book to help me learn more about the Bible. Thanks, I'll read it for sure. I've got cash gifts from my parents, my aunt and my brother's mother-in-law who was at the pre-dinner celebration too.

The Greetings

Let's see who did not wish me a happy birthday. Hmm... well, no need to be too bothered about it. I won't be offended though I wouldn't feel "nice" about it. It won't make me lose sleep anyway. Thanks to those who wished me. My best friend Yen sent me a card, but well... since our postmen are so efficient, the card never arrived. My ex-girlfriend also sent me a birthday greeting. My ex-wife probably thought I've committed a serious crime and I'm now in jail, so no need to send a card to a criminal.

The Ambience

The restaurant had a cozy feeling, and the deco makes you feel like staying on a couple of hours. Every one was happy including me though I wish there's that special someone to spend the night with. The food was good. The birthday song made me feel like a kid again, or made me feel like a golden citizen... the candle blowing and cake cutting were symbolic. What did I wish for? I can't tell, and I can't remember either.

And Today...

... the actual day of my birthday, I'm all alone at home. I had breakfast with my parents and aunt at the Yong Tau Fu shop nearby, then they went home. I foot the bill - RM18.80, no problem. Not only that, I went to office (on this public holiday) to get something urgent done because the deadline is tomorrow, but I won't be in town. Why didn't I do it earlier? 'Coz I got the e-mail only yesterday evening!! I've tried real hard to feel good as it's "my day" - well, it hasn't worked. I guess I'll just go eat my take away lunch and watch TV.

On the positive side: I celebrated my birthday yesterday, so cheer up, for Christ's sakes!
On the negative side: - don't be so negative -

To What Extent..

To what extent would you go in order to seek knowledge? Well, I'm currently providing a language guidance class to about 20 students; some of them come from afar, and their parents don't mind waiting for them till the class ends. There are others who come in the following modes:

- take the city bus
- drive on their own
- rent a car (one student did that)
- get a ride from a friend

To these students, I take my hat off to them for attending despite the odds. What I'm rather unhappy about is that, it's not a multiracial class. It would be good to have different races mingle in the small classes which I conduct each week. I'm all for racial integration. After all, we are Malaysians. It is my hope that in future intakes, there would be more races.

No More Styrofoam Boxes

Prior to joining Tzu Chi, I wasn't too bothered about the environment. I'm not an active member at all, but as time went on, I realised that I need to do whatever I could to save the environment - no matter how small the act is. Well... today, I wanted to have breakfast in campus. I used to go to the cafe, get a takeaway packed in styrofoam box, take it back to office and eat there. I boycotted that cafe for at least a month because I knew I'd gonna get another white box, thus I'm contributing to the destruction of the environment, and not to mention my health too. But today I was so darn hungry I just had to go get something from the cafe... styrofoam or not - hey, I'm human, alright?

As soon as I arrived, I started looking for the styrofoam box. It was nowhere to be found. Realising that I was looking for that box, the girl at the counter asked "Nak bungkus (wanna pack)?" - and took out a cardboard box!! Well....finally!!! After all the green campaigns, they decided to get rid of the styrofoam boxes for good. I was so delighted that I had to take a snapshot of the box. So here are two photos:

The recycle logo: authentic? Beats me

Yummy but oily. Is someone drooling already?