This blog aims to share my personal life stories with all, and hope to seek a partner to share my life, too. My personality, interests, beliefs and attitudes are revealed as you read each post.
This morning, I went to the post office to pay my utility bills. As I opened the glass door, I noticed from the corner of my eye, a woman sitting on a chair against the wall. She was looking at the queue. There were three others in front of me. The young girl in front had finished her transaction, and I thought that lady was her mother. No she wasn't.
When it was the next customer's turn, I looked at the lady again. In her hand, there were some RM50 notes and bills. I realised that she had been waiting for her turn. I have no idea how long she had been sitting there. She had a jacket over her; so either she was feeling very cold or she was not well. Or perhaps she was waiting for the counter to be clear before paying her bills.
Being a shy person, I initially didn't want to open my mouth to ask. Eventually, I gathered enough courage to ask the stranger: "Mau bayar bill, ka? (You want to pay your bills?)" to which she smiled broadly and nodded. I immediately told her to go ahead and pay first. I waited behind her. She paid, and left. I saw a bunch of keys in her hand. Perhaps she was in a hurry to go somewhere.
Well, I'm glad that I've done a good deed. It may be small, but I suppose it's meaningful to that woman, or else she'd probably have to wait till I've done my payment.
My students had their presentations today. One of them didn't turn up, and as a result, his partner had to present alone. He didn't know what had happened to his best friend, though he knew that his friend had a problem.
Then at lunch, another student stopped me at the cafe and informed me that the absent student would like to do his presentation. Of course, I was annoyed. He was absent for the presentation, left his best friend alone, and yet he wanted to present later. Anyway, I told the messenger to ask that student to see me at 1:00 PM because I'd like to hear from him the reason for his absence, but there's no guarantee that I'd allow him to present.
Just before 1:00 PM, the boy came into my office and he had beads of sweat on his neck. His first words were "I'm sorry... I hope you'll let me explain... not sure if you'll accept or not." - I had no reason to be mad so I listened tentatively to his excuse. Apparently, he had a major argument with his dad the previous night over the phone. It had something to do with his studies here, and the fees. He wanted to be independent, but his father appears to control him. I reminded him that he should have at least informed his best friend, but he said he didn't want him to know. Then, I allowed him to present...
After presenting, he apologised again and continued his story. I continued listening to him ... he didn't have a good childhood, he wanted to be on his own as he didn't like to be controlled, he likes to visit other countries and help if he could, he wanted to study here. He talked about his country which oppresses its people, and he didn't like that. ... he wanted to be successful - on his own because he said: "What if there's no one there for me (one day)?"
I offered a bit of advise. I didn't want to talk too much as I'm not qualified enough to advise. Often, if we have nothing better to say, it's wiser to just listen. It means a lot to the other party - just a smile or a nod would sometimes suffice. And I remember him saying "I need someone to talk to... " - well, I hope he'll sort things out eventually but no matter what, he still has to come for a test in two days' time.
A blogger sent this to me after reading my previous blog, so I'm sharing it with all of you. I was watching it midway when my eyes began to tear, but I continued till the end.
Thanks, Daniel for sharing with me this video. There is a 2nd part to this video, maybe later...
So people, go hug your husband, your wife, your children each day with full of love. You have that chance. Just do it without reservations; even if you've had a bad argument the day before, even if you've been hurt, just do it. And make that a habit.
I have been surfing the net and checking out a couple of blogs created by mothers. We call these moms "Mommy Bloggers" in the virtual world. These are the hardworking moms who take time off from work and after work to blog about anything. Most of them write about their life as a mother, and they have pictures of the cute newborns to 7-year-olds doing various stuff, and posing for the camera.
When I see these pictures, I could sense the mothers' happiness seeing their toddlers grow each day, while sharing with other mommy bloggers their ups and downs as caretakers, not to mention offering tips to enhance their children's well-being. I suppose all the burden of bearing a child for nine months (or less for premature ones) is worth it after all. The excruciating pain of being in labour and giving birth to a child is temporary compared to the excitement, joy and everlasting love that these mothers have for their babies, toddlers and kids.
I see these kids in their blogs, I smile... and I'm envious of these parents because they have the opportunity to bring up their own flesh and blood. It is never easy to raise a child as the commitment and patience must be there at all times. My wish...
My wish is to have my own child one day so that I can share the joy, feel the excitement, learn to be responsible like every other parent. It's so nice to be able to cuddle your little one when you get back from work, or hearing them call you "Daddy" for the first time, or greeting you "Daddy come back already!" and running to you for a hug, or hearing them say "I love daddy and mommy". Of course, when they become teenagers, things could be different, but that's another story. This wish of mine may just likely be an unfulfilled one. Age is catching up... FAST ... and I also need a wife. No, I'm not desperate; it would be good if I could get married.
God willing. Maybe God knows I could only be a single, so I leave it in His hands. :-)
My 43rd birthday has just passed. Yeah, it's "shocking" I'm THAT old already, but age is just a number because I still feel like a teenager and have desires of one. I have never made any resolutions as I know I can't keep them; I'm as fickle-minded as a nerdy professor. Nevertheless, I would like to have hope.
My Top 10 Golden Hopes
I hope that:
This country continues to enjoy peace and harmony
This world becomes a better place to live in
My parents age gracefully and happily, and be in good health
I will be a far better and matured person than I am now
The pain that I've experienced would disappear for good
My siblings enjoy fruitful and fulfilling lives with their own families
I will be successful in my career and love life
My best friend becomes a successful entrepreneur
Every one I know forgives me for the bad deeds I've done to them
God forgives me because I've committed just too many sins
Those are my hopes. I believe you have your own too.
Today's 11 Aug. 2010 - it's a date not to be repeated. The reason is it's my birthday and it's a public holiday in Malacca; today's the beginning of Ramadan, the fasting month for Muslims. How many people are privileged enough to have their birthdays fall on a public holiday? Well... it's a special day for me, or is it? It's even more special because for the first time ever, my parents and my aunt stayed overnight at my place just for my birthday.
Pre-birthday dinner
I'm kinda traditional when it comes to celebrating birthdays. I'd like it to be celebrated (if there is one) on the day itself, but this year it's celebrated a day before (which was not a holiday) to cater to those who are unable to attend the dinner - it's always dinners for us. It's fine with me.
Well, I'm not too excited about the celebration. To me, as long as you remember my birthday, I'm happy enough. No need parties, birthday cakes or gifts. A personal call would be really appreciated. See how simple I am? It's just gonna be another ordinary day anyway, at least for me. I donno about you guys who'd go partying the whole night long, and extend through the next day. OK, food time. Here's what we all ordered at this renown Thai restaurant:
That's edible raw leaf with rubber bands... err.. I mean carrots below each one
Every one's favourite: Pineapple fried rice
Crispy rice dipped in spicy sauce with meat
Spicy fried rice
Stir fried traditional noodles: BEFORE
AFTER: Notice the glass containers with chilli powder, sugar, pickled green chilli, sugar and ground nuts. Mix them all into the noodles
The German Black Forest cake: Simply delicious
The bill - minus the cake - came up to about RM140 (approx. US$40), which is rather inexpensive for seven people. Dad foot the bill. Thanks a million dad.
The Gifts
My brother and his wife presented to me a gift which I opened only this morning. I didn't wanna open it yesterday as it was not my birthday yet. I felt the gift, and I immediately knew what it was.
Well, I guess this is better than studying for a Master's degree - which I've miserably failed
Both of them are pious Christians, and they've seen me in church, so it's only appropriate that they bought a religious book to help me learn more about the Bible. Thanks, I'll read it for sure. I've got cash gifts from my parents, my aunt and my brother's mother-in-law who was at the pre-dinner celebration too.
The Greetings
Let's see who did not wish me a happy birthday. Hmm... well, no need to be too bothered about it. I won't be offended though I wouldn't feel "nice" about it. It won't make me lose sleep anyway. Thanks to those who wished me. My best friend Yen sent me a card, but well... since our postmen are so efficient, the card never arrived. My ex-girlfriend also sent me a birthday greeting. My ex-wife probably thought I've committed a serious crime and I'm now in jail, so no need to send a card to a criminal.
The Ambience
The restaurant had a cozy feeling, and the deco makes you feel like staying on a couple of hours. Every one was happy including me though I wish there's that special someone to spend the night with. The food was good. The birthday song made me feel like a kid again, or made me feel like a golden citizen... the candle blowing and cake cutting were symbolic. What did I wish for? I can't tell, and I can't remember either.
And Today...
... the actual day of my birthday, I'm all alone at home. I had breakfast with my parents and aunt at the Yong Tau Fu shop nearby, then they went home. I foot the bill - RM18.80, no problem. Not only that, I went to office (on this public holiday) to get something urgent done because the deadline is tomorrow, but I won't be in town. Why didn't I do it earlier? 'Coz I got the e-mail only yesterday evening!! I've tried real hard to feel good as it's "my day" - well, it hasn't worked. I guess I'll just go eat my take away lunch and watch TV.
On the positive side: I celebrated my birthday yesterday, so cheer up, for Christ's sakes!
On the negative side: - don't be so negative -
To what extent would you go in order to seek knowledge? Well, I'm currently providing a language guidance class to about 20 students; some of them come from afar, and their parents don't mind waiting for them till the class ends. There are others who come in the following modes:
- take the city bus
- drive on their own
- rent a car (one student did that)
- get a ride from a friend
To these students, I take my hat off to them for attending despite the odds. What I'm rather unhappy about is that, it's not a multiracial class. It would be good to have different races mingle in the small classes which I conduct each week. I'm all for racial integration. After all, we are Malaysians. It is my hope that in future intakes, there would be more races.
Prior to joining Tzu Chi, I wasn't too bothered about the environment. I'm not an active member at all, but as time went on, I realised that I need to do whatever I could to save the environment - no matter how small the act is. Well... today, I wanted to have breakfast in campus. I used to go to the cafe, get a takeaway packed in styrofoam box, take it back to office and eat there. I boycotted that cafe for at least a month because I knew I'd gonna get another white box, thus I'm contributing to the destruction of the environment, and not to mention my health too. But today I was so darn hungry I just had to go get something from the cafe... styrofoam or not - hey, I'm human, alright?
As soon as I arrived, I started looking for the styrofoam box. It was nowhere to be found. Realising that I was looking for that box, the girl at the counter asked "Nak bungkus(wanna pack)?" - and took out a cardboard box!! Well....finally!!! After all the green campaigns, they decided to get rid of the styrofoam boxes for good. I was so delighted that I had to take a snapshot of the box. So here are two photos:
Not long after publishing the previous blog, there was a phone call. A damsel in distress - at 7:45 AM!!! She was on her way to the office, and the six of us were supposed to travel to Cyberjaya in a van when he car stalled somewhere. She couldn't describe the location well, so I just guessed it. At that time, I was in a depressed situation, but I told myself that I wouldn't want to be in her situation, would I? So, I switched off my PC, took the stairs (the lift wasn't working), rushed down 3 floors as I dislike making others wait for me, got to my car and drove out of campus.
As I was just a few metres out of the campus grounds, she called me. "Hi, I've taken a cab already..." - and she thanked me. Well, on normal days, I'd have complained and screamed to myself: "What a waste of time, why didn't I wait longer?" - but today... somehow, I realise I don't have any friends, and the best I could do is to help those in need, even if they don't need my help in the end. So since my assistance was no longer needed, I turned back to campus quietly, and she was already there waiting for the van. It didn't matter as she's safe.
I honestly do not have the heart to see people suffer. As far as possible, I'll put myself in their situation. How would they feel if there's no one to turn to? If I come into this situation again, I'll just provide help without thinking twice about it.
I've my strengths... but my weaknesses overshadow my strengths so much that the strengths sort of become unnoticeable.
The past 12 months have been traumatic for me, my family and my friends. The things I've done, the acts that I showed and the words I uttered are not what I'm used to, and not what is expected of me. Please Lord, I beg you to forgive me for all my sins which I've done toward the people I love and I care. And I also beg for forgiveness to those whom I have sinned. Give me more wisdom, patience and selflessness from now on to be better than the person I once used to be. Bless all those who still care for me, Lord, whether they're my family members or friends. I pray that they and their families will stay in good health and in happiness always. Pray for me...
Friends are plenty, but true friends are very few. I have one really true friend. I dedicate this song to her. It is hoped our friendship lasts a lifetime.
I don't have to say
A word to you
You seem to know
Whatever mood
I'm going through
Feels as though
I've known you forever
You
Can look into my eyes and see
The way I feel
And how
The world is treating me
Maybe I have known you forever
Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
We share memories
I won't forget
And we'll share more,
My friend,
We haven't started yet
Something happens
When we're together
When
I look at you
I wonder why
There has to come
A time when we must say goodbye
I'm alive when we are together
Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
When
I look at you
I wonder why
There has to come
A time when we must say goodbye
I'm alive when we are together
Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre
Amigos para siempre
A week ago, a colleague told me about this octopus that became a craze in the World Cup. I didn't know what was happening as I am not a soccer fan. A few days later, I discovered what the heck this eight-legged creature has to do with the sports... and he has a name, too - Paul.
"Pulpo Paul" became an icon, an almost instant celebrity, when he (or is it a she), picked out the winners of the last eight games correctly. That's truly amazing. Now tell me how many Nostradamuses could predict with accuracy for eight times? Highly unlikely. Paul did it. I think everyone is gonna name his child "Paul" or something connected to this sea creature to honour him. Every one was talking about Paul and his predictions. Every newspaper had headlines about him. The local Chinese newspaper glorified him by having his photo splashed on the front page of the paper.
Gee... does Paul know how lucky he is? No, he's oblivious to everything... poor thing. Now that the World Cup is over, he will continue swimming at leisure in an aquarium in Germany.
I've been thinking of doing this for quite some time. So, yesterday evening, I decided that after a 30-year lapse, I'm following my mom to church today (Sunday) - and I did. Whatever prior arrangements I had today was called off. Sorry, Tzu Chi... I was supposed to attend a full day volunteer training today, but I sent a message to the Commissioner to inform her that I'm withdrawing. I'll still be a volunteer, though.
Mom was so delighted that she immediately gave me the Holy Bible to read. Sorry mom, I had to do what I did because I wanted answers NOT to religious questions but answers to my own life because I've not been good enough. I brought about the divorce, and I've hurt my best friend real bad. So I can't take anymore hurt. The Bible might shed some light, but I'll have to see. I've brought pain to people (not deliberately of course), and I want God to show me the way out. I wanted to go to church not because Buddhism has failed me, but because I believe an alternative might give me what I've been looking for.
Do you know what happened when one of my mom's closest friends met me at the church entrance? She was the usher for today's service. When she saw me, she immediately put her hands together, closed her eyes and said loudly: "Praise the Lord. You're here." ... and went on to tell me that I should get my dad to join me too. She reminded me again about this after the service.
Err... excuse me. What? Hello, I'm not here to be converted yet, OK? I'm going to church to learn something. And I'm not the type of person who goes around persuading others to join the Fellowship. It's their choice; let their heart speak the way it has spoken to me. Well, to be fair, my mom's friend was just happy for me. One reason I shun away from Christianity three decades ago was because of this kind of people - they scare the heck out of me!!! I guess I was naive then. But this morning, I wasn't afraid of such people anymore because Buddhism has taught me rather well.
People who knew me as a little boy in Sunday School over 30 years ago still recognise me, and welcomed me. There were plenty of happy faces - yeah, and I still knew my way around the church despite it being heavily renovated. And you know what? Today is special because my brother, a staunch Christian, was the Worship Leader. What a coincidence! He didn't see me till toward the end of the service. As expected, he wasn't really surprised, but I know he was glad, and I'm glad my younger brother makes a good Leader. So I'm back to the Wesley Methodist Church - I guess for good.
In my entire life, I've got gifts from my ex-wife, colleagues who came back from a trip abroad, and from students. However, I got a gift today from someone whom I've known a long time - my best friend. She told me about it last week but refused to tell me what it is. This morning, at approximately 8:30 AM, I found out what it was when I personally collected it at the PosLaju collection centre:
The counter wasn't opened yet. Waited 2 mins. I was customer No. 4 already
Unwrapped it in the car. Oh! A clock... cool :)
Back in the office. Oops, it's a figurine. So cute and meaningful
There you go little one. You're on display permanently. Yeah.... teacher - that's for me alright.
There was also a note to apologize for the unsuitable wrapping (or no wrapping), but the wrapping doesn't matter to me. What matters is the message that is printed on the gift, and the pureness of the heart to send this to me when she knows that I needed to be pushed. It doesn't take an Einstein to see that I'm really touched now, and that has motivated me to do what I've wanted to do.
There was major anxiety with regard to the collection of the gift, and that anxiety lasted a few days. Well, it's over now. The gift is now in safe hands. Yen, if you are reading this blog, I wholeheartedly thank you for taking the trouble, and for putting so much effort in getting this meaningful gift just for me.
Once, I thought there was no such thing as a best friend. Now I've got not only a best friend, but a true friend as well... and I believe, I'm lucky to have such a friend... this song is just for you:
I was at the Tzu Chi premise this morning before leaving with some volunteers to my inaugural home visit. Yup, this is the first time I'm visiting a home NOT for Hari Raya or Deepavali but to see the other side of life - the not-so-fortunate. Prior to the home visit, there was a parent-children bonding session in the music room.
I arrived at 8:20 AM, and there was ample parking space. I headed off to Tzu Chi's music room which I've never stepped into in my 4-5 months as a volunteer. As soon as I arrived, a senior told me that there's a problem with the audio-visual, and my colleague was already waiting for my help. Gosh, I'm not an expert in AV stuff. I had to take off my shoes and put them into a cloth bag which was provided, then bring them along into the room. My colleague, who told me about today's event, was meddling with her notebook.
Let's cut the story short before you nod off... see the photos below:
A senior volunteer giving a briefing in the music room
Senior volunteers doing a role-play of a scene. Kids and parents watch attentively
So, what did you learn from the role-play?
Senior volunteer discussing the home visit etc. with parents while their kids listen
Food time after the home visit. Bring your own containers. No styrofoam boxes, please.
Now it's the parent's turn to talk. Feedback time.
The kids were cute, and they got restless after some time. What did they do? They sat on the floor and turned the chairs over and played with them :) Why those people can't keep their speeches short? I also noticed that the legs of each chair have white "booties" to protect the parquet floor from scratches or marks. Cool idea.
Guess what? I didn't understand almost all of what was said because the entire session was conducted in Mandarin. Tzu Chi, being a Taiwan-based organisation, conducts all activities in that language. Nevertheless, there are some English-speaking people there, too.
I'm not referring to myself la.... I may be old, but it's only a number. I'm still so young at heart... ahem! I'm talking about my beloved Sunny, my 15-year-old car. I sent my car to the workshop today to have the air-conditioner fixed. I moved around for a week without the aircon. I had no choice as I was unable to take leave any time I like due to the nature of my job.
15 years and still going strong. They don't make cars like this anymore.
I didn't wanna wait as I know it would take half a day to complete, so I left my phone number with the foreman, and walked home.... yes, I WALKED home...well, it's only 10 minutes, and the morning sun is good for me but I'm not walking back there in the afternoon or later when I collect the car. The foreman called as soon as I got home to confirm that there was a leakage in the condenser, and the dryer (whatever it is) has to be replaced.
Hope he does a good job... this is my first visit to that workshop.
UPDATE: I've got my car back two hours ago, and the aircon is working again. It costs me RM350. Gosh...aircon servicing is always more expensive than regular auto servicing.
Yesterday, 28 June 2010 was a historical day for me. I held my first guidance class for MUET. I don't wanna call it tuition because I'm not here to make big bucks like some teachers out there. I just want to guide my students to get them to know MUET and practise so that they're able to achieve the minimum Band 3 set by the university in order to proceed to Beta level.
Any kind of service comes with a fee, and this guidance class is no exception. How much I charge my students? Well... very minimal because my students can't afford to pay too much unlike city kids. Pity them la... they want to learn, but if I charge them too high, they will be discouraged to have that opportunity to learn. I'm not ashamed to say that I'm getting a bit of pocket money which is sufficient to pay my utility bills while helping students who need help. Part of my earnings will go to charity, too as they need donations - this is my pledge to society.
I planned to have such a class years ago but somehow it didn't materialise. It takes something bad to happen to me to realize that I've got to do something with my life or else I'll rot forever. So, I decided it's time to start this guidance class - I did it... and I got my first batch of five students last night.
Start small but aim big. I won't be greedy yet, but I've plans over the next few years to expand (not sideways) but it all depends on how I handle this first batch of students.
Wish me luck that I'll succeed this time... for once.
At dawn, while almost everyone else was still fast asleep on that "fateful" Saturday morning on 26 June 2010, my phone alarm screamed at me. It was 5:30 AM, and I was supposed to wake up to get ready for an event - The Writers' Workshop - at Cyberjaya. We were told to get to campus by 6:30 AM as the bus leaves at that time. We departed almost 7:00 AM in a typical Malaysian style. OK, so here's what I captured with my 3.2MP smartphone ... ain't that smart, you know:
Catching up with lovely sleep
Cyberjaya campus: The venue of our workshop
Generous breakfast spread, tea breaks and lunch for us Thank you, we're starving.
Some of the participants - teens!
The man who could talk for 6-hours He really knows his stuff.
Practice time: Mock press conference
Despite having to listen to Willie (the only facilitator there) for 6 hours, I didn't feel too bored, but I must admit that I daydreamed quite a bit, while I saw someone snoozing away. His lecture was intermittent with five activities that are tied to each other.
The participants were 99% students from both campuses. There were only two staff members as participants, me and another guy. Basically we learnt a lot of journalism and reporting. The skills are useful as I've plans to be a writer some day ... perhaps make that as my full time job.
Well... it was worth the early morning wake up call. By the way, my hands are lousy when it comes to taking snapshots... see the blurry pix?
Yesterday evening, I watched a movie - Karate Kid. This is the remake of its predecessor shot in 1984 with Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio as the main characters. In this 2010 remake, Jacky Chan (Mr. Han) and Jaden Smith (Xiao Dre) play the respective the roles. How was it? It was great!!!
When my colleague asked me to watch a movie, I thought it would be Toy Story, and I was sceptical about this kung-fu movie. Since there's Jacky Chan in it, and I've watched the trailer some time back, what the heck, I decided to go. No regrets. What I like most about this movie is the kid himself, a carbon copy of his dad, Will Smith in terms of the way he talks and moves. He's so darn cute, so go watch him even if you dislike violence.
I'm not gonna spoil your interest by revealing too much, but you know that if there's Jacky Chan, there will be plenty of action, humour and moral values - his movie trademark. He didn't direct this movie, though. There's a tiny touch of romance too. Oh by the way, I was actually moved to tears toward the end - now how often do you see tears in a man's eyes? Or was there another reason for those eyes to be wet? Hmm...
There's one particular statement that Mr. Han said that struck me: "Life sometimes brings us down; it is up to us whether or not we get up" - roughly that's what he said, but the message is clear. It definitely applies to me. See? Even watching movies can teach you a lesson or two.
We celebrated Father's Day yesterday, 20 June 2010 (Sunday) in the capital city. After going round and round, we finally found the restaurant - Tenji Japanese Buffet - at the high end Mont Kiara area.
The front of the restaurant
As you enter the premise, you're transported into a different world - the world of Japanese culinary. The landscaping and interior design were fabulous! See the photos:
The rock garden that greets customers
A garden in a restaurant
See what you like, and drop your clip in the bowl
Another area
Kids' favourite: The chocolate fountain
Tea lovers: Drink as much as you like
People digging into Haagan Dazs. The chef looks worried.
Baskin Robbins and sexy girls galore
The mini bar. Try their fresh coconut.
Oysters with cheese toppings - a "gift" from Tenji
How's the food? FANTASTIC!! How's the price? FANTASTIC too, as it was half price for lunch - that's RM48++
I attended my cousin's wedding dinner in KL last night. The food was good, the company was alright. I took many snapshots, and my relatives wanted to have their photos taken too with my camera. The menu was something extraordinary - something which only Tai Thong Restaurant could come up with. At RM1,000+ per table, this was the menu:
The menu: Click to enlarge
A Toast - red wine.
However... despite the company, the noise and the happy atmosphere, I felt something missing. When I saw the video presentations and the atmosphere, I had flashbacks of what I had gone through three years ago. Every one was happy for me - finally I'd ended my bachelorhood, they thought. Now, I'm a bachelor again - though not exactly the same anymore.
Next month, I've to attend another cousin's wedding. I can't escape... I need to be brave and face reality. I shall just go blindfolded.
I'm now in Week 2, I travel twice a week to Cyberjaya either in a van or a bus. Whichever mode of transportation I use, the result is the same - pain. Sitting on a bus is more comfortable though as there's enough leg room and the seats are more cozy.
But each morning I wake up, my back hurts. Just before it recovers, I've to travel again because I go to Cyberjaya on alternate days. It hurt bad this morning ... sigh :-(
Don't know what's going to happen by Week 14. I jokingly told my colleagues who travel with me that at the end of the semester, we would have to use a walking stick - yeah, they laughed, I laughed - but then... jokes aside, it's bad for all of us.
I had a virtual chat with a netpal a couple of days ago. Then the issue of having partners of different religions was brought up. "I'm a Christian, so I must marry another Christian." - strange, you know. And when I asked the reason, she said that she wanted someone who shares the same values. Before you have any thoughts in your mind, let me clear it for you - we're NOT dating... hehehe. We were merely discussing.
We have the right to choose our own partners, and we have the right to embrace the religion of our choice. Fine, thank you. What if you've found a great person, but you refuse to make that move due to religious differences? In addition, what if that person decides not to convert to your religion? Easy answer: "Let that person go, la. After all there are many fish in the sea. If not, then being single is also not bad anyway."
As far as I'm concerned, I wouldn't mind marrying anyone from any race as long as I get to keep my religion, and I will let her keep hers. The other thing is that I do not have to change my name or add something to it because my present name was given to me by my parents. People tend to believe that by marrying someone of the same religion, things will go smoothly as they will understand each other better. True, to a certain extent. However, marrying someone of a different religion has its benefits too. You get to learn and understand another religion, not only your own. You will also learn to tolerate other religions better. Isn't this what being a multi-racial country is all about, too? A good example is my parents - my mom is a Christian, dad a Buddhist. My brother chose to be a Christian, while I chose to be a Buddhist because we siblings have our own beliefs. Well, nothing's perfect. There have been some minor differences but nothing keeps my parents' love for each other going for close to 50 years despite that difference in faith.
If we respect each other's religion, that would be great, wouldn't it? The problem with us is that we think, or have been indoctrinated by people that our religion is better than others; some people make a mockery of other religions. This is when trouble ignites, and later turns into a full blown explosion.
I think we should all be open about having an open-religion marriage. There's no superior religion in this world because God has never taught us to think that way and all Man are equal in His eyes. The bottom line is, we all do good, be good and see good always, and life will be alright - regardless of whom you marry.
"Oh, birthdays are very important to me."
"My husband/boyfriend must remember my birthday."
"You must be kidding if you think birthdays are not important."
"It's the man's job to remember his woman's birthday."
Hmm... so what do you think? This post focuses only on two people - the husband and the wife. What do you think of husbands who believe that it's not important to celebrate their spouse's birthday? You may be screaming at me: "Horrors! What nonsense are you talking about?" - let me just say this.
In a marriage, celebrating birthdays is just one of the ingredients to make your marriage taste sweeter. It is not the primary ingredient. Without it, your marriage would still be sweet. There is no point pouting, showing tantrums or arguing when your hubs doesn't remember, or take no notice of your date of birth. It doesn't mean you are insignificant. What matters most - and is paramount - is that your husband is able to provide you security, has long term plans and you're assured that he'll be there for you 24/7/365. What matters most is the fact that he cares for you in his own unique way, and that he is around just for you.
I remembered my ex-wife's birthday each year; every year I gave something to her and I gave her a treat. However, last year, her parents stepped in and wanted to have things their way - I didn't like it, and the issue of the birthday cake cropped up. It became one of the trivial issues that was brought up when she asked for a divorce. I would like to say this: as far as I'm concerned, I'd like to celebrate birthdays (mom's, dad's etc.), but if I don't get you a cake, or if the date just slips my mind for some god-forsaken reason, don't make me look like a criminal who has just murdered someone. Not every husband is into this birthday celebration thingy - and it doesn't mean they love you less.
"He loves me, so he must know my birthday." - not necessarily true. This is one of those unworthy expectations that could cause arguments. Don't expect, and you'll not feel disappointed. Your husband has his own ways of showing his love to you, and celebrating your birthday may not be on his list.
So, people... no birthday bash? It's alright. Don't frown. Be happy that you still have a husband (or a wife, to be fair) who is there by your side to care for your every need - you don't need a birthday cake to remind you of his (or her) love, do you?
What would you do if you see a stationary car with its lights on?
A. Tell the security officer about it. B. Ignore it because it's not my car. C. The owner is my enemy, so forget it. D. Call the owner immediately to inform him/her. E. None of the above - the car's mine.
There will be an answer for each of us. I'm writing this post because early this morning, I received an SMS that reads: "the lamp inside your car is on". It was from a colleague who travels with us to Cyberjaya each week, and she knows what car I drive. This is not the first time a colleague saved my ass. The first time, I parked at a reserved spot, and a different colleague called me up to inform that the security was calling out my registration plate over the walkie-talkie. This is a good example of me trying to be funny and not making people laugh. OK, follow the rules from now on.
The point is, it is good that your colleagues know what car you drive. It doesn't matter if it's a Beamer or a Kancil. Chances are, as long as they recognise your car, you'll quickly know if something has happened to it... if they see it, of course. There are still good people on this planet.
(p/s: You don't drive? Well... thank your lucky stars that you've a chauffeur who takes care of your travelling needs.)
Does age difference matter in a marriage? Well, from what I read in the papers yesterday, it certainly isn't. There was a column to announce that local comedian Harith Iskandar and model-actress Jezamine Lim are getting married. They'd already be married by the time you read this.
Harith is 44, while Jezamine is 27. That's an age gap of 17 years. It kinda reminds us of Siti Nurhaliza when she married businessman Datuk "K". What I find unique about Harith's love is that he first met Jezamine in Facebook! Did I read the papers carefully? I think so. Yes, it's the same social networking site that all of us are familiar with. So who says you cannot find love on the Internet, or online love doesn't work? Although it is quite a norm nowadays to find love online, not many are reported or known...well, there's no reason for us to know anyway.
My mom commented that Lim is a doctor, and Harith, a comedian - how could both match? I suppose laughter is the best medicine, if you know what I mean. So that matches well. I would also like to add that it all boils down to luck and fate as well. If Harith did not have a Facebook account, he might not have met his attractive bride and end his bachelorhood.
Luck and fate ... and prayer play crucial roles in our lives. True, age doesn't matter. Men can still perform at 40, 50 or even 60 ... you know what I mean; so can women. The only difference is, the older we get, the lesser chance we have of bearing a child.
A photo of the "akad nikah" (solemnisation) of the marriage is available here. Best wishes to the new couple.
For breakfast today, I ate bread with home made fish floss. Since I'm still a grown-up kid, I get hungry quickly; therefore just an hour later, I went to the cafe to get some "kuih" - again, I didn't take photos of them before eating...
Anyway, then I realised (after buying) that all the three kuih that I bought were sweet ones. Well, I'm not a health freak, but I don't want to fall ill either especially when I'm alone at home. Too much sugar causes diabetes, and diabetes - depending on whether it's Type 1 or Type 2 - can cause death. My maternal grandma has diabetes, so I probably have her genes too. So, like it or not, since I've already bought the kuih, I ate them all. I'm gonna stay away from such "kuih" for the rest of this week at least.
A friend of mine just found out that he has high blood pressure, and he was so depressed that he sent an email to his friends to show how sad he was. We met up with him and cheered him up - hopefully... but knowing him, he will not change his habit. When you reach a certain age, food is a very important factor to look into in order to live healthily.
Today, a weekend, I met up with a few of my ex-schoolmates who are now doing rather well. Two whom I've not met for at least 20 years. We met at the Malacca Club, a place where yuppies hang out with friends to while away their time after a hard day's work. I said yuppies because it's an exclusive club which membership is possible only via introduction by an existing member. I dare not ask the membership fee, but I know it's high.
It was my first time in there since my friend is one of the major shareholders of this renown club. There were slot machines and private rooms to play one arm bandits, too. We got a room, and chatted in there, occasionally interrupted by the music from the sole slot machine in that room. We drank Shandy and beer (I didn't drink beer - not because I'm a holy person) while one drank coffee.
Generally, we had quite a good time chatting. Sorry, I didn't take any photos and I'm not what people call "camwhoring" :-) I spent about an hour in the clubhouse while the rest continued since their wives didn't bother about them, their kids are all grown, and they're really free to do whatever they want.
Today is my first assignment to the Cyberjaya campus. I've been to this campus before for meetings but I've never taught there. This time around, six of us were the "Chosen Ones" to be there for 15 weeks.
The place
It is a very big campus, though not as big as public universities here. That's more than enough to give your legs and your heart a good exercise since we're required to teach 4 hours with only an hour break in between per day. Classes begin at 11:00 AM and ends at 4:00 PM for us.
The Students
I had only 8 students today. Being Week 1, many have yet to turn up, so classes are almost empty. The ones I had today were generally alright. At least they could converse quite well. I hope the rest who are coming later will be more or less just as good.
The journey
We began at 8:15 AM; we boarded the university coaster. It was helluva ride to hell most of the time. It was raining real hard midway, then there was no rain later. The driver drove at a neck-breaking 140 km per hour. I've been through this before, so I know the speed. I was seated at the back, and along some stretches of the highway, I felt like I was riding a horse! No kidding... my precious balls between my legs were slammed to the seat many times. It wouldn't be long before I lose both, or grow another two somewhere. All the 10 of us (there were 4 additional passengers from other depts.) held on tight to our seats. We arrived safely at 9:50 AM. The trip home was just the same. This won't be the only "adventure ride" for us. We have to go through this twice a week for 14 weeks - you do the math. Our backs would hurt like mad.
Gosh, I ain't looking forward to Thursday. Pray that we all reach our destination in one piece.
I visit my parents each weekend since I became single again. Each time I pay them a visit, my house would be somewhat neglected. If my house has a life of its own, it would cry each time I leave because now there's no one left to care for the house, which was once home for two. Anyway, I'm doing my best to cope with office work and house chores.
Look at the condition of my plants below. The potted plants merely appear to be green:
The plants are left to wither - especially the one on the right.
You'd also notice that I've quite a moderately large lawn (in the background) to upkeep. Often, I feel like puking when I see the carpet grass growing so long - it shouldn't grow long. Maybe it's the wrong species or I didn't know how to look after it, or both. Well, there's no point crying over spilled milk now. After spending RM1,000 on the grass, I've to live with it, trim it as and when it doesn't rain, not too hot, and on any available time. Thank goodness I've a machine to cut it, so that saves a whole lot of time.
I often wonder why the heck I bought this house. I'm not able to maintain this Semi-D double storey forever, you know. One of these days, I'd just sell it off to a prospective buyer and move back to live with my aging parents. Nevertheless, it's only a plan - I can't see the future; but if the future doesn't want to reveal itself to me, then I'll just do what I believe is the right thing to do for me.
Well, I don't have green fingers... maybe just green eyes :-)
I joined Tzu Chi approximately 3 months ago after the divorce, with the hope of getting new acquaintances and hopefully be a better person. Well, three months have passed, and I'm still the same but I've gathered enough courage to participate in a couple of their activities despite being linguistically handicapped. You see, I can't speak their lingo - Mandarin, but some are able to speak English. Ya la, I'm a "banana man" - yellow on the outside, white on the inside... in short, a Chinese who speaks only English.
Their latest activity was the recycling and vegetarianism campaign held on the eve of Wesak Day. I was stationed in one of the locations in town. I was there with my colleague at about 6 p.m. Here are some photos:
The seniors arrived early to set up the station
Briefing. The ones in grey are generally juniors.
The recycle boxes. Later more boxes were brought in.
Promoting vegetarianism
Our stuff had to be hidden from public view. It looks neat too.
The public buying some organic stuff
A member of the public pledging to be a vegan for a certain duration.
A prayer before you leave
Time to clean up the mess
So, am I a vegan? The answer is NO (not yet) - it's good to be 100% vegan but I just wonder what would happen if there are just too many animals on this planet because all of us have become vegetarians? But I will definitely consume lesser meat from now on, for health reasons too.
Perhaps one day in the future, I'll not eat anymore meat.
